Back home :)

I think I've gained back all the weight I lost lol. I made cupcakes here at home...and that was my UNDOING! :O

I'm getting my haircut on Friday :)
http://www.bestcelebrityhairstyles.com/tag/cameron-diaz-hairstyles/
check out the hairstyle on the top row in the middle! Where she has that sexy red lipstick on :)

I think it'll look real cute :) I need a change. I'm trying to grow some self esteem! I want to feel sexy and in control :)

I have to admit it's getting better...

I'm doing pretty well today. Woke up early to go take a test and then the teacher was like 'I didn't print enough, so you can all go hooooooooooooome!' Oh...ok lol. Well I feel like I wasn't really ready for the test anyway so I'm going to go ahead and see this as a blessing.

I start doing tech for White Christmas pretty soon...kind of excited for that.

I'm busting out Algebra left and right mo fos! I am going to pass that class...i'm going to i'm going to i'm going to.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllll...ta ta fir now folks!

I get to go home!

I'm really excited for this Wednesday. After my classes I get to just go home until Saturday :) I work at one on Saturday, so I don't even have to leave until 11-ish. WHOOOOO!

I miss my family and I miss just hanging out at home. I miss Rufus and Mom. But most of all I need Kenzie. I really miss hanging out with her, and she lost her silly cell phone so I can't even text her now.

Algebra is trying to slay me. I'm fighting back though. I must pass this fucking class! GAH!

I guess I'm better?

Pretty sure I'm going to USD next year.

Algebra sucks

I'm coming undone...

I just punched myself in the jaw...because I went online and figured out how many calories I consumed last night.

Maybe I'm going crazy. I know I'm not supposed to post things like this online but nobody reads this thing anyway.

I hate my body. Hate it. I hate how fat and awkward I am. How I can't fit into any of the clothes I like.

Yeah...maybe i'm going nuts.

I will...

I will lose weight. I will try to burn more every day than I consume.

I will try to stop hating myself for not looking like my roommate, who doesn't even realize how lucky she is.

God...I will try to believe that something higher than me set me to this task for a reason? Or maybe not. I guess I don't know...

I never realize how much I hate this place

Unless I've been somewhere different for a while.

I wish I could go to the Halloween dances.
I wish I wasn't weighted down with homework and obligations.
I wish I could feel sexy and flirtatious again instead of just here...


I wish a lot of things.