For hating them both? For trying to swallow it so I can move on? For trying to be there for Claire. I know that I need to be. That she'll need me. But it still feels like a betrayal. And that's hard. But I am so much more angry at Sean. It's like comparing a candle to a forest fire. And I have finally figured out what makes me so goddamn mad...
1. You're not over me. Don't lie. That's not me being egotistical or whatever. Fuck that. I know you felt for me what I felt for you and I KNOW there is no way in hell you 'have positively no feelings for me'
2. which leads me to number two. Sean's not being fair to Claire. Hell, she herself told me that Sean wouldn't fight with me so much if he didnt still care about me.
3. I'm disgusted with his weakness. I know there is more strength in him. Or do I? huh...
4. I never really knew Sean. He's just like Addison and Rich. Cause he uses girls, they fall in love, and then he moves on and doesn't give a fuck who he hurts. Sound familiar? Apologies Rich, you're better now, but before Shelbi this is how you acted. And if he's just like them, how am I ever supposed to able to trust a boy again...? I can't. I really can't. Cause it's impossible to know people...
Stop playing the goddamn matyr Lemke. You do NOT get to do that. You moved on fast, and now you're happy. You have can have a girlfriend, or you can bitch about your life. Not both.
I'm so angry all the time...and I think it's time to run.
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