Take the Trade and damn the rest!

So, as it would figure, just when some things start to go amazingly well in my life, one thing crashes and burns, and hits my heart harder then I ever want anyone to know...

GOOD NEWS FIRST MOTHA LICKAS!

Sean and I are finally dating! :D and it's bloody fantastic! I can talk to him for hours, and things never get awkward. No exaggeration. Yesterday I spent somewhere around four hours at his house, and even if we didn't talk the whole time (although he'll tell you it is pretty hard to get me to shut up...) it was still really great...I feel a connection with him that I've never felt before...and I think it's because both emotionally and physically we're compatable...for example he doesn't care that I talk lots because he doesn't talk all that much...and he's a good listener, which is a much needed quality for my boyfriends to have...

Then there's the physical aspect of things, and speaking of that...I have two hickeys...one's on my left side, and that one is the lesser of the two, and the other is on my right...and it's waaayy worse lolz. Can I just say here, yummy. Yum yumitty yum yum! Honestly, this kid blew my mind...we'd kissed before, and it was always very sweet and romantic and great because it had taken us so long to get there, so you could say that I'd been hankering for it for some time...but yesterday we were kissing and...ugh it felt like somebody set me on fire...it was very VERY good. And Sean is a very quick learner...can't wait to teach him something new ;)

On a different note, there's some bad news (isn't there always?)

Everytime I think your suffering can't and won't effect me Rich, you throw a curveball that makes me literally feel sick...I read your latest blog about how fucking great Virginia is and how none of us here in SD live up to your expectations and whatever...well here's my retort you hurtful son of a bitch:

YOU left Natasha ok? I can only assume she's the one who 'gave you the scissors' and whatever. YOURE the one who kicked her out, ok? She LOVED you man. She fucking loved you, the same way I did for a fucking year. Now it's different. I love you Rich, and I want you to be happy, but you won't let anybody in except for people who are guarenteed to hurt you. Natasha could have been your sunshine, your gift, your blessing...

Zoey and I recently had a conversation about you. She told me that you seek out the role of the victim...back then I told her to screw herself...but now I'm thinking she was right. Are you happy Rich? Being a victim?

Being miserable doesn't make you better then anyone else Rich. It just makes you miserable...

Don't worry Stratmeyer, there's always a part of my heart that will sympathize with you. A part that will hurt everytime you shut me out...so go ahead and keep playing victim, since it seems I'm the one who's victimized by it...