Oh Tasha...

Darling, you never have to apologize to me for being in pain. If I wasn't able to handle my pain, plus everyone else's, I don't think I would myself...it's my talent in life to help people when they need it.

You meant so much to him Natasha. You were his universe for one brief moment there. Which is more then a lot of girls ever got with him. And I know you probably wish it would have never happened. But it did, and nothing will change that. It's terrible. But it's beautiful too. You were capable of breaking through his shell, even if it was brief. He cared about you. The only reason he talks about Zoey so often is because she left him decimated, and you aren't enough of a bitch to do that. You left, with some semblance of yourself intact. Whearas Zoey and Rich left that relationship with only bitter hearts and broken hopes.

I know it's not fair that they move on and leave us with broken hearts, and it feels like we've been in a car accident, and the paramedics came and took them away while we lay and bled on the street. Our lives sapping away...

But it doesn't have to be that way. You can fight back. You can do other things. Marching band was a great idea. Start writing peotry, stories, sonnets anything. Get involved in something new and exciting. Learn more about the wonderful person you are...and eventually instead of saying, 'what does it matter who i am, he left me anyway' you'll start saying, 'what an asshole for not seeing what was right in front of him.'

You are beautiful and smart, and so fantastically sensitive to the world around you. I have great faith in you that you'll someday change the world. God knows you've changed mine...

and stop looking for a new guy. one will fall right into your lap when you stop looking and start focusing on yourself. Believe me, I know. ;)

I love you.