Still fighting...

OK...so I trust myself a little now...I'm going to post the note...if only to show the very few people who read this just what I'm going through. And before you read this you should know that
1. I called his mom a bitch because she wouldn't let him be social in anyway
2. We'd had a fight because he'd rather talk to his other friends then me
3. I cared about him alot. Ouch.
4. He moved onto another girl right away.

I feel like I'm standing on top of a cliff ready to dive off when I read this...here we go...

Libby-

I love you! I don't know how many times I have to say it to you but I get your note. And yes my mom can get out of hand sometimes but she's not a phyco bitch I've come to find. She wants me to go to a good college. Not a great one. A good one. Cuz I know that probably I can't comprehend a thing like that. She knows that I want to do something big in music and my dad's gotten me to the music part for sure my mom is helping me get to the big part. So I now understnad that she does this shit that pisses me off and my friends and girlfriend off because quite honestly she cares about me and she wants me to do good with my life and I'm learning how to do that. Slowly yes but I am none the less. Now I may be grounded and it may piss you off but quite frankly there's nothing I can do about it. I'm getting my grades up which is all I can do.

Now I don't understand how you can't understand that. Sometimes I won't be able to see you. Sometimes I want to hang out with someone else. I'm not just talking about school. I"m talking about all the time. It's too much I want to hang out with the guys during lunch because quite frankly it's awkward. Everyone in the drama dept besides you, bridget, justin, erin, jake, trimble, merecedes, and KC all either A) pshycho analyze me and my relationship with you B) Stalk me C) Don't talk to me at all and make me feel awkward D) Have no sense of humor. I just don't get it

YOu need to settle down about those voicemails because at some period of time guys lose shit to talk about. THat's the point when one goes "Hey! Maybe we shouldn't talk as much as we do!" It's not spoken but it just happens till your dwindled down to the raw relationship=talk about day+love+clever quips+familiar interests+sex+death. You just don't seem to understand that A) sometimes I just don't want to talk to you B) I'm not a bottomless pit of fun/interesting shit. I'm just not.

Anyways I just don't know what to tell you kuz this isn't working out. You need to just settle down about everything. You need to tell me a reason to stay together. Kuz right now and for the last two weeks I've been unhappy. I need to live MY own life and I want to help people but i don't want to be their center. I'm not waiting up for much. We need to come up with an agreement.

Love,
Addy

P.S. I'll always love you like a sister



The end.

I got that on a day that I had to do five shows in a row. And people wonder why I'm sad so often now.