So I'm not going to post the note he gave me. I'd rather not read it again until I'm really over him. Which I'm not. But he seems to be fine. He's got another girl now. Someone that nobody has ever heard of, but who've I've come to think of as 'long blonde hair girl' because that's her only discernable feature according to most of our friends...even Sean thinks she's mind numbinlly annoying. Which is nice to hear. Sort of. On one hand, she's not fun, so hey, he's not as happy with her right? But on the other hand, why is he with some loser when he had me? I don't understand...
I have many different ways of looking at my immense amount of hurt feelings. God freakin A! Bridget says she's just a rebound, and that the fact he got her so quickly means, hey, he's in too much pain to handle. Melanie just shrugs and says he's a man whore...which is really unhelpful because that means I dated a manwhore. AND to add to my total lack of self esteem lately this is how my brain has chosen to handle this:
I never meant anything to him. I was just 'another lay'. And now he's blissfully unaware of what is happening to me (crisis of self). Which sounds dramatic, but I really loved Addison. As people we fit very well. I could talk to him on the phone for hours! But circumstances stopped us from actually dating...and now he can talk on the phone with Becca for hours so hey, I'm starting to think he lied about that too...I'm in a sea of grossness. I can't even talk to him. I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing...
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