A strange type of disease has decided to assault my sinuses, so it looks like I'm going to the doctor real soon here. BUT FIRST...an update on my Addison situation, which sucks...
OK so I'm talking to him again. Two nights ago there was like, an hour long phone convo, then last night we talked online for half an hour. And the suprising part is, none of it is flirtation! I mean I thought we might lapse back into that, you know? But it's becoming pretty damn clear that he doesn't want me anymore, and I'm working on not wanting him. Just friends. That's a really wierd statement to me.
That's what so many couples say when they split up. It's always like, 'lets stay friends!'. Why do we do that? Is it because we've become so dependent on that person that our lives without them would be terribly lonely? Is it because we secretely harbor the desire to have them back as more then friends, and keeping them around is the easiest way to acheive that goal? I guess in some cases, like in the case of my good friends Merecedes n' Sean, they were friends to begin with, so they can easily slip back into that mode...
I have a lot of people who tell me that since I'm not on speaking terms with any of my exs (besides taylor) that I was never really that close to them to begin with. But I disagree. I think that the closer you become in the relationship, the harder it is to see that person afterwards. OR maybe it's simply physical. The farther you get with someone on the physical side of things, the less you can have them as just your friend b/c the memory of how they touched you and made you feel is too vivid...
Or there's always the thought that maybe two people who split up have too many mutual friends for them to never see each other at social gatherings anymore, which is about accurate with me and Addison...arg...complicaitons everywhere!
Thoughts? I would love some input here...honestly....
Honestly, I'm not good friends with many of my ex-s... I dunno. But I can say it's hardest for me with Zoey.... And I think it's because of how deeply I felt for her.. Because I was honestly convinced I would spend the rest of my life with her.. And her and I did things I wouldn't do with someone I wouldn't want to spend my life with. But the hardest thing for me is, being around her, is seeing her seem so perfectly content in al ife without me. Cuz I'm sitting there tortured and miserable and she looks like I never made a single dent in her life...
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel. That's what's making the Addison recovery so F******* hard...i mean really, they're like 'tra la la la la' and you know that they're probably hurting on the inside, but you can't be sure...arg...
ReplyDeleteWell... if it makes you feel any better, I'm really good friends with one of my ex's... in fact, we're best friends. We're both in relationships and we can talk about everything, but I don't talk to most of my ex's. I try to be friends, but it only works if both people are willing to try... Don't know if you wanted my opinion, but I thought it might help you.
ReplyDeleteWell, you always have me, and I'd definitely turn lesbian for you.
ReplyDeleteWhat?
Yeah.
:P
I love.
And I'm sorry.
...
Sometimes life just f***s you in the ear... D: