He's really in hate with me lovlies. Not sure what to do, how I feel. I'm trapped in a circle of thought that goes kind of like this:
1. Pain when I remember what he said
2. Realizing how much I deserve his hate because I've been terribly bitchy
3. Deciding I'll be OK
4. Being happy
5. Crashing...repeat process
At least six times today...and Bob Dylan be singing to me right now.
I was looking at my science partner's bracelets today and she had one of those leather Jesus bracelets that have three knots, one for each aspect or whatever of God, you know jesus holy ghost and god, and the you bring the knots closer to tighten the bracelet, ya know? Which got me thinking. When we're kids we have little wrists, and we need to have the knots close, almost touching. And then we grow up, and we have to move those knots apart...you know? I think that symbolizes faith...as we get older, it's harder to keep it together. I miss feeling close to something bigger then me. Something that loved me. Not really a christian God, more like any higher power that I knew cared. SIGH.
This isn't me. I'm Libby Trammell. No man should ever get to me like this. But I can't help it. Arg...
I saw Watchmen twice. I'd like to be a superhero...I want my power to be learning to love myself...
You can do it Libby. I just get the vibe that you're a strong person. next time you're in a good mood, write down everything good about yourself. Then look at the list when you're sad. It helps you realize what a great person you are. You could even ask your friends to do the same if ya want. I would do it, but I don't know you well enough to do your greatness justice. ;D
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