He fucking hates me...

So addison has basically proven he hates my guts. I sent him a message at 1:30 in the morning last night...or this morning...telling him how much I hate him and how upset I am b/c he didn't switch his weekends around with me to go to winter formal, but he is for spinsters with Hope. So now I'm like...'oh what a fucker. This is what he replied:

first of all hate is such a strong word but i guess i wouldve seen where you came from with this but you also should realize that honestly u at this point are absolutely nothing in my book. if you think that u were my end all be all everything ill never find anyone else in the world kuz ur the one? thats kinda funny. im getting outta sd as fast as possible so that i kan live the life i want to live. i did kare. i dont anymore. i didnt make u kare about me. you kould of left me and i woulda been sad but i wouldnt send these stalker messages to you or tell you that i would be pissed off kuzr ur happy. i would understand. plus even if i were change shit around on weekends i kouldnt of. i was grounded. now im not. plus im not with you. the moment you figure that out will be the moment u get ur own life instead of sending ur minions out to do ur dirty work for you while u sit bakk and watch my life fall apart? ur funny. nevermind no ur just desperate. oh and hows ignoring me going? i guess u had to stop ur sherade sooner or later. i hope i die. i hope i die soon and young and not with you.

he's right. everything he said was right...great...

Laramie Project

Well for one thing from my last post, Justin and Gunn broke up :(. Only now Gunn is dating KC again, and there was only about 3 days of single time there, maybe even less than that. I don't think Gunn's been single for more then 2 days since the beginning of the year, and yeah that is an issue for me. What the heck girl??? Yeah, it hurts, beleive me when I say i know, but if you don't recover you'll never deal, and it'll all come crashing down in one horrible day/hour/moment.

LHS is doing Laramie Project this year. I scored the part of Romaine Patterson, and even though I wasn't really very familiar with this play when I tried out, she's the one I would have wanted anyway...but god this play is fucking me up. If hatred is allowed to progress to this point in today's society, if someone is allowed to be murdered because they're different how long until I'm next?? Or until someone I love is? My friends are different, and special. But if people are determined to hate someone that's different than what does that say about us?? Are we really just like our caveman-ish ancestors? Or have we all come to realize that we can, in fact, rise above those initial instincts and embrace our fellow man for who they are? I can only cling to this one hope:

If humanity can hate uncondionally, then maybe we can love just as much

So lately i've been trying to compare the two and this is what I've got so far: Hate creates more hate, and love does not.

A friend of mine suggested we are born with the instinct to hate, and that we learn love as we get older...I'm hoping it's the other way around. Because if we could pinpoint that one moment, that one experience or time in our lives that we decided that hate was ok, maybe we can eradicate it. A world without hate. That's something I would give my life to see.