Getting Better

I just took my dog for a walk, and he makes me happy! I listened to the new happy playlist that I made, and it's very good for me. I'm coming up with some ways to help myself through future breakups, and I'll list them now hoping that they'll help me in the future, and maybe some of you who read this...
1.) Listen to The Beatles, Finger Eleven, any music that makes you smile. I recommend "I Get By With A Little Help From my Friends" by the beatles

2.) Clear his stuff out. You are an amazing person. There is no one in this world that can do what you do! You are a unique and divine attribute, a star that shines. Shine as much as you can, and remember that whoever you are, even if I've never met you or talked to you or held you while you cried, I love you. With all my heart.

3.) Focus on your pets, your writing, your music, your acting, your ANYTHING! What do you love? What makes you feel good about yourself? FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU WANT YOUR LIFE TO BE AND DO IT! I believe in you 100%!

4.) Friends. Find them, love them, cherish them. They might not understand what you're going through fully, but they care, and that's something to hold onto. If you need a friend, here I am! Comment, text me, write me, call me! I CARE ABOUT YOU AND LOVE YOU!

So there you are. I am always here, whenever you need!

Love is life's purpose. It's humanity's divine gift. Use it! Spread it like jelly! :)

Better healthwise...hurting otherwise

Still in pain. Still miss him. Still dealing with the fact that he never cared. I was a game. I was A GAME. Remember playing house when you were a kid? I think that's what our relationship was to him...playing at being a grownup...

I gave him back his stuff...today I just shoved it all in a bag and gave it to him...I think I'm healing...? Moving on, well, not so much...I like another person but he's just as unattainable as Addison is. Joy to my hopelessness...

I'm getting old I need something to rely on...
This could be the end of everything

STILL F****** SICK!!!

I am so very sick of this! I have a cold that makes my throat and lungs ache like hell, then now I wake up and my eyes are glued shut b/c of some ickyness. This is terrible! The cold makes everything from the neck down hurt, and now anything from my neck up is hurt by this pink eye. :(

And now, our lovely Addison segment...I let him backstage...and now I'm just miserable because I purposefully seek him out. SO NOW I NEED A FAVOR...friends of mine...stop me from being around him...i mean sometimes there won't be anywhere else to go but I need helps. I keep holding onto the idea that he'll love me back sometime. And that's not going to happen...right?

The only person who talks to me about this is Whitlock, and she's so mean I disregard it...I need to hear 'libby i love you but.....' idk insert anti-addison remark here...

its the 25th....

Oh dear...it would seem that if me and Addison were still together then today would be our four month! :/ yikesh

I think my main issue currently with this breakup is that I don't really have anything that distracts me from thinking about him. When we were dating I was always thinking about him and now my brain is tripping b/c it's not sure where it feels like thinking bout. However I did have some good times today....

I went out to eat w/ merecedes and Rich and I had, like, fifteen full minutes where I didn't think about him and I wasn't sad! That makes me real happy. Those two are real cute, even if Merc did spill Coke all over Rich's car causing him to flip out major and almost crash the damn thing...yeah that was slightly less cute...BUT ANYWAY...lol

Yeah I think Merecedes and I are gonna become Bffs pretty soon ish here. We're pretty much love. All over. And no vomit. lol.

And Rich knows where I'm coming from with all this emotional shit b/c he's been through it too. It's always nice to have someone who's been through wat you're going through.

LOVE EVERYWHERE

Again with the sickness

Yeah two posts in one day...now I'm just hyperactive. But I just watched Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, and I really liked it. Only it reminded me of Addison and I to the point of collapse. I'm losing it ladies and gents. Welcome to hell. Because tomorrow I'll see him and talk to him and I won't be able to tell him that I still love him, even if he doesn't want me. Because those are the rules of the game. Rules that when broken result in someone like Sarah S, who broke the rules with Rich, and now nobody lets her talk to him. I hate society, I hate my feelings, and most of all, I hate that I can't chose who I love.

Home Sick...

A strange type of disease has decided to assault my sinuses, so it looks like I'm going to the doctor real soon here. BUT FIRST...an update on my Addison situation, which sucks...

OK so I'm talking to him again. Two nights ago there was like, an hour long phone convo, then last night we talked online for half an hour. And the suprising part is, none of it is flirtation! I mean I thought we might lapse back into that, you know? But it's becoming pretty damn clear that he doesn't want me anymore, and I'm working on not wanting him. Just friends. That's a really wierd statement to me.

That's what so many couples say when they split up. It's always like, 'lets stay friends!'. Why do we do that? Is it because we've become so dependent on that person that our lives without them would be terribly lonely? Is it because we secretely harbor the desire to have them back as more then friends, and keeping them around is the easiest way to acheive that goal? I guess in some cases, like in the case of my good friends Merecedes n' Sean, they were friends to begin with, so they can easily slip back into that mode...

I have a lot of people who tell me that since I'm not on speaking terms with any of my exs (besides taylor) that I was never really that close to them to begin with. But I disagree. I think that the closer you become in the relationship, the harder it is to see that person afterwards. OR maybe it's simply physical. The farther you get with someone on the physical side of things, the less you can have them as just your friend b/c the memory of how they touched you and made you feel is too vivid...

Or there's always the thought that maybe two people who split up have too many mutual friends for them to never see each other at social gatherings anymore, which is about accurate with me and Addison...arg...complicaitons everywhere!

Thoughts? I would love some input here...honestly....

A Response

I agree with the latest post from 'Slip into My Barrier'. As usual he's pretty much pegged down with words feelings that the rest of us can't even begin to describe even with emotions...

Love and hate are related, and I think it's because they are the two most prevalent emotions that are close to us. Humans are easily devoured by either of them, and the come from the same spot.

As for the Venn Diagram theory, in this I agree...and the main thing that ties the two together, or is 'in the middle' of the diagram, it's name is passion. We love passionately and we hate passionately. And passion is born of the heart. So does this mean hate comes from the heart? Well, tag Slip Into My Barrier. Answer me that.