Not Sure Why...

I'm beginning to think nobody reads this anyway...so I'm thinking I'm gonna run through my ex's...try to break things down if only for myself...starting with the most recent working me way back...ok? cute!

Addison Avery. He's the really gorgeous one in the middle...and if anyone who reads this has listened to my heart for any span of time this year...well he's the main attraction I guess..

I sincerly cared about Addison. I'm not sure I loved him...I think he expanded my mind, helped me to see the world through less conventional eyes. He picked up the mess that I was and helped me figure out myself again.

And here's the kicker: He dumped me through a note. So I'm thinking...yeah...I didn't mean as much to him as he did to me. I'm starting to except that as fact though.

REASONS IT FAILED

1. Freshman

2. Immature

3. Not capable of the love I need from someone

4. Constantly grounded

LESSON I LEARNED: I learned to love myself. I learned that having the guy that everyone else wants IS NOT fun for me. And I learned to look to the guy's past to see how he'll treat you. I AM NOT an exception. I am another girl. He will treat me the same way.

Eric Binger...yeah that's him and me on prom night...good times actually! I've kissed those lips more times then anyone else...it's funny to know that about someone...

I LOVED eric...he was the center of my universe the entirety of sophmore year...my miracle. God I still light up whenever I think about the happy times with us. He knew me a lot better then anyone else will ever know.

Seven months. I was happy for six and a half of them. Things ended b/c he was going to college and I realized that eventually he would want to get married. And I knew I couldn't do that. I am not the marrying before I graduate college kind of girl. So I ended things.

Two weeks in bed and pounds of tears later I finally left my bed...I've never been that hurt in my entire life. You have no idea.

REASONS IT FAILED:

1. Too old

2. Honestly...I think I loved him too much...it overwhelmed me..

LESSON: I'm capable of loving...of caring about a person to the point where every thought I have is for them first and me second. And I learned how to function in a relationship. I learned to love.

OK, Matt Heintz was my first 'official' boyfriend...he's the nerdy looking one who's in the red shirt on the end closest to the camera...




And the reason I couldn't find a better pic of him is because finding this one on facebook was enough of a chore...it's literally the last picture of him there...



Matt and I dated right before me and eric did. For three months. He was four years older then me, but he was mormon so there was no pressure on the sexual front. Things just dissapated because I had fallen for Eric before I could stop things with Matt.


He left for his mission almost a year ago. It's this thing that mormon boys go on once they turn eighteen. In short, he's gone with no contact for two years. I miss him a lot actually...talking to him always made me feel centered. But he's gone now. Claims I shattered his heart, and he doesn't want to talk to me...it's funny...I did to him exactly what Addison did to me...paybacks a bitch..

REASONS IT FAILED:


1. Eric


2. Idk...I miss him everyday...


LESSON:


Do not EVER date someone right after you wrap up another relationship. You wound that person a lot...








This is me...My name is Libby Trammell...and in my life I have loved three boys. They didn't always love me back, and sometimes I didn't deserve it even if they did...





















Not sure why I did that..