HEY I PASSED ALL MY CLASSES! woo hoo self!
Addison is still out of town. It's getting worse. I'm starting to hate it here actually. Nobody is ever interested in what I'm doing or wants to hang out with me. I guess it wouldn't matter anyways. I'm not much use when I'm unhappy.
I switched all the posters in my room around for something to do, then I memorized some lines for Laramie Project.
What an amazing play.
LOVE TO YOU ALL...if anyone even reads this...
Mugshot
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
X mas eve after baking
My mom and my sis and I made candy. We used like an entire can of peanut butter. It made me happy-ish.
I miss addison. lots and lots.
Watching Buffy isn't helping insane amounts. Xander and Willow cheated on their respective boyfriend/girlfriend with each other.
So, question? How much is too much on the cheating side? If the person just kisses another person is that too much? Or what about zero physical contact, what if it's just emotional connection that you dont act on? What constitutes cheating?
For those of you wondering why I give a f***, yeah I am flashing back to Morgan...but I'm too cowardly to ask more about what he felt for her. There's love where there was pain, and that's all that matters right...
I miss addison. lots and lots.
Watching Buffy isn't helping insane amounts. Xander and Willow cheated on their respective boyfriend/girlfriend with each other.
So, question? How much is too much on the cheating side? If the person just kisses another person is that too much? Or what about zero physical contact, what if it's just emotional connection that you dont act on? What constitutes cheating?
For those of you wondering why I give a f***, yeah I am flashing back to Morgan...but I'm too cowardly to ask more about what he felt for her. There's love where there was pain, and that's all that matters right...
X Mas Eve Morning...
My mom is about to force me to cook. I have a headache and I'm overheating...it's all good. And I wanna kill something. I love you all....
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
(^(%*%$^*%*
So at Erin's house that night me and Addison fell asleep laying down on a couch next to each other. He was wearing a flannel shirt, so it was extra soft. I love it when he plays with my hair, and like strokes my shoulder and stuff. The best part was how innocent it was. There was nobody else there. Well there was, but they were all asleep too, and nobody minded. Nobody was judging me. Even if they had been I don't think it would have mattered. When I'm in his arms the rest of the world sort of melts away. I just want to memorize everything about him so I can conjure it up whenever.
The only thing that's wrong with this relationship is, of course, the suckiest thing ever. I never get to see him...well outside of school. It's mostly not his fault. I mean he could get his grades up, but his mom is acting kinda like that wouldnt help much actually. But for the love of god he missed Halloween, Winter Formal, and now he's gonna miss New Years Eve. Just saying those are kinda biggies. I love him, but it would be great to know he wishes he was here with me. I don't think he's ever come out and said it.
To answer Rich's question about pain we feel in our hearts. Yes, it's physical. There's a tangible hole where your chest used to be. It's not all in your head. I'm as qualified as anyone you'll ever know to know what that hole is like. The key to that pain isn't to deal with it, like everyone says. That's complete bullshit. People say that so you'll stfu and let them live their lives. You deal with the holes in ur heart and the pain in ur chest by getting someone else. Someone who fills the holes the last person left. Someone who picks us up and dusts us off and reminds us that we're special and loved.
Well that certainly got morbid at the end there....
LOVE AND PEACE TO ALL
The only thing that's wrong with this relationship is, of course, the suckiest thing ever. I never get to see him...well outside of school. It's mostly not his fault. I mean he could get his grades up, but his mom is acting kinda like that wouldnt help much actually. But for the love of god he missed Halloween, Winter Formal, and now he's gonna miss New Years Eve. Just saying those are kinda biggies. I love him, but it would be great to know he wishes he was here with me. I don't think he's ever come out and said it.
To answer Rich's question about pain we feel in our hearts. Yes, it's physical. There's a tangible hole where your chest used to be. It's not all in your head. I'm as qualified as anyone you'll ever know to know what that hole is like. The key to that pain isn't to deal with it, like everyone says. That's complete bullshit. People say that so you'll stfu and let them live their lives. You deal with the holes in ur heart and the pain in ur chest by getting someone else. Someone who fills the holes the last person left. Someone who picks us up and dusts us off and reminds us that we're special and loved.
Well that certainly got morbid at the end there....
LOVE AND PEACE TO ALL
Friday, December 19, 2008
FIRST BLOG
OH DEAR ITS SEMESTER TESTING TIMES LITTLE GIRLS! AND BOYS....
yeah basically I was reading Rich's blog and decided to get myself one...just got done with Government test....I think I might fail my next two classes. Chem and Spanish. Oh dear god please help me...
Addison and Mel and Sean are coming over today after school, but Mel and Sean are bailing at 2:30...which means about five hours alone wit my boyfriend in my house. Color me happy! Nah, nothing too serious is gonna happen but due to his being grounded (go to hell addison's mom) for about three months I hardly ever get to see him. So just being alone with him anywhere that's not school is almost pure heaven for me.
Rich is being real cool today. I'm happy he's happy. With the past shit that's been going down with him, I was worried. But now he's better which is great. People with hearts like his don't deserve to be unhappy. The world just isn't fair some time.
yeah basically I was reading Rich's blog and decided to get myself one...just got done with Government test....I think I might fail my next two classes. Chem and Spanish. Oh dear god please help me...
Addison and Mel and Sean are coming over today after school, but Mel and Sean are bailing at 2:30...which means about five hours alone wit my boyfriend in my house. Color me happy! Nah, nothing too serious is gonna happen but due to his being grounded (go to hell addison's mom) for about three months I hardly ever get to see him. So just being alone with him anywhere that's not school is almost pure heaven for me.
Rich is being real cool today. I'm happy he's happy. With the past shit that's been going down with him, I was worried. But now he's better which is great. People with hearts like his don't deserve to be unhappy. The world just isn't fair some time.
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