Christmas! :D

I got quite a few things for Christmas! But my favorite one was our new Red Wii! :D

Then today I got to see my cousin Katie's kids and play with them. It's the best part about Christmas for me. I love playing with kids, especially ones as great as these kids :)

We played hide and go seek, and then watched Star wars until they got tired. Which, I must say, was hilarious. Because Tyler, who is six, was talking my ear off asking questions about the storyline of Star wars! Things like 'If Jabba the Hut is a bad guy why is Solo talking to him instead of shooting him?' and 'Why did Anakin turn evil when his wife died? Why couldn't he just get over it?'

:) Hmmmm. I have Christmas with Greg's family tomorrow, which should be great :) And, I got some great books for Christmas that I'm excited to dig into. Plus some Pilates workout tapes so I can lose some more weight! :D

Whoo whoo!

Things I love!

I love:

1. Christmas
2. My mom's birthday
3. Greg Jensen
4. Feminism
5. My sister being happy
6. My friends
7. Being home
8. Seeing everybody
9. Home cooked meals
10. losing weight (lost 5 pounds up at SDSU)
11. My 4.0 for this semester

Yep. Those are my happy causers.

Christmas LIST!

I just got done writing my Christmas list. And I had to do something this year that I've never had to do. I had to make a list for dad that had nothing on it that was on my list for mom. So that they wouldn't have to communicate and not buy me duplicate presents.

So that they wouldn't have to talk...

because ever since dad married Karen they have really started to HATE EACH OTHER. Dad figured out that mom is going to the same concert as him and he just got mad and said 'fuck' so whoo hoo!

I'm so pissed by this... I always respected them for putting all this shit behind them. But no. Now they hate each other...

You know what I hate most about that?

All I can see is that unless I wait forever to get married, when I'm old and settled, that marriage fails. I have never seen a young happy married couple. My parents have both been married 3 times. It's a great model for me to follow.

How can I ever trust in marriage when all I see is the shit it causes, and none of the happiness?

Get to go home!

I finished my last final today. Now I'm sitting in my room watching Buffy.

I'm really excited to go home. I will still have Algebra piled onto my plate. Ugh.

But that's ok. Because I get to go home. And play with my dog and talk to my sister. And I also get to talk to my mom and ask her what she thinks I should do with my major and such.

And I get to see Taylor and Melanie :) I haven't seen Melanie in a very long time...I'm worried about how different she'll be.

But hey, I'm still happy.

VERY very happy! :D

Hmmmm...

Here are my options for my future:

1. Go to USD, major in Social Work

2. Go to SDSU major in Communications with a minor in Political Science

3. Go to SDSU major in Sociology...

I always wanted to get my Master's in something. So I know I won't stop at a four year degree. So, I could get an MSW...(master's in social work) or maybe I'll end up majoring in something else.

I know I want to help people, and I want to be a key part of the gay rights movement.

So what major will help me do that?

On a brighter note, I think my auditions for Nuts went really well! I'll find out on Friday if I got the part.

What am I going to do?

I used to think that going to USD would be the right choice for me next year. Now I'm not so sure.

I don't know what I want to be. I don't know how to balance my passions and my major. I don't wanna be a Theater major because I don't wanna sell my soul to Theater like so many of my friends seem to.

I want to help people. Social Work seemed like a great idea. But the only school that offers that in the state (and I must stay in South Dakota because of money and because certain people are here) would involve Greg leaving SDSU to follow me. And I hate that idea. I hate him uprooting his life to just follow me. I despise knowing he'd leave all his friends for me. I. Hate. These. Choices.

Hmmm

I doubt anyone reads this thing anymore...Which I guess means I can say whatever I want on it and be safe?

I'm mad that you left halfway through the play. Not just mad. I'm hurt far more than you can ever understand. I worked my ass off on that show. And it was the first college production I really got to be a part of. And you left because you hate musicals. Well, hey, I hate some video games but I don't leave when you start playing them.

Fuck it. You'll never understand.