Aw shit.

Capers opened last night! And Greg and his friends came! :D It was wonderful to see him. But, also, the rest of the crowd sucked. They didn't laugh at anything and that was really upsetting to me. because it is a funny show that we've all worked really hard on. Just sayin'

Lonely Day...

Ugh, today was a bad day. I didn't really interact socially with anyone all day. I had dinner with the guys, and even then all they did was mock my political views until I really felt like crying. I get it's a joke, but really my views are a really big part of me and I feel like maybe they could respect that. Of course views are there to be argued, but all I said was 'I don't really care for some religions because they're sexist' and oh god did the shit fly.

Fuck it. I'm so sick of this place. I'm sick of being lonely and afraid that I'm screwed up because I don't enjoy the same things everyone else does. For example, today during Capers practice everybody started playing UNO when they didn't have scenes to practice. And I just bailed. Didn't want social interaction.

How is it everyone around me can be having so much fun, and all I feel is a crushing lonliness?

I miss my friends. And I miss Greg

By now most of you have heard...

So, by now most of you have heard that Greg is taking a semester off from school. I will miss him a lot, but I know we can make it through the shitty times. I'm just upset because I'm going to be SO BUSY with Nuts and Capers! Like, I should have Monday the 17th off from school, but instead I'm going to be running through Capers stuff. I'm not complaining about being in shows! I'm just upset I won't have much time to spend with Greg.

He might be able to come see me though! Up in Brookings. That would be nice. And I love him so much :)

I'm glad he's taking a semester off to figure out what he wants to do with his life. Because he's like me in the way that he doesn't know what to do with his major and what nots.

Anyhoozle...come see me in plays yous guys! :D

Easy A, and a tribute to Richard Hauffe

I love the movie Easy A. Like, a shit ton. I think it's a great movie that really shows what high school can be like for girls when they become sexually active. Or when someone even thinks that they've become sexually active. And, I love Olive Pendergast's character. I want to be her. Richard (my step dad) thinks I already am. :) which is kind of cool.

I'm looking at transferring to USD next year again...I feel so lost. It's really difficult for me. UGH. There are so many pros to staying at SDSU. Primarily the Theater department. I hear the one at USD is stuck up and bitchy. Plus, for all my efforts, I just am not a 'professional grade' theater person. I was always in it for the people, because it seems to draw in this lovely crowd of people :) As my Theater professor says 'Theater is where you go when you don't fit in anywhere else' And I love that.

So tonight I was watching Easy A with my mom and Richard. They have both never seen it before. And then Mom gets up in the middle of it and says she's going to bed. I should add that I've been waiting to watch this movie with her for a while now. But, no, she just gets up and goes to sleep. Richard however, is staying with me and watching it :) which is nice.

Richard is really fun :) I love him a lot.


He's a great step dad, and there are times when I wish he was my real dad. I guess that's unfair to my dad...but still.

Richard, whom I call Rico Bear, is a very amazing person. And it's only because of him and my mom that I believe in marriage even a little.

ANYWAYS...holla if you wanna talk. I'm going to be really lonely the next couple of months.

How I spent my morning.

Mom and I got out our laptops and looked at future Graduate schools and such for me. And that's when I realized...that I'm not really making a lot of sense with my choices.

Going to USD makes sense. Getting a Social Work degree there makes perfect sense. Except...I don't want to. I have things that tie me to SDSU. And I just really don't want to leave.

But at the same time I do. I want to go explore other places, and see what I can do with myself. Maybe fly away to Minnesota. But none of that is relevant I guess...

I know myself and my relationships too well. I'll stay here.

bout a week left

Ok, so I have a week left of Christmas break. Ugh, and I really don't wanna go back to school. This is probably a bad sign or something. But I like living in a house instead of a shoe box. Maybe when I go back my roommate and I can redecorate our room so that it seems bigger.

Also, I think I've gained back all the weight that I lost earlier this year. So that should be fun to burn off again. But I have faith. Someday I'll be skinny-ish.

I'm happy to be in two plays when I get back to school though! That'll be cool :) Even though it means I won't be makin' many dollars...but oh wells.

Well, I love you guys. To be honest, I don't think anybody reads this anymore but me. Which I guess makes it a sad little thing. But I still enjoy it.

Growing up sucks.