Second post of the day!

Alright I did steal this from Madison, and encourage everyone to go check out hers!

but here...

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/sparrow278

Maybe I need some rehab...

Or maybe just need some sleep...

Because your love is my drug!

Woke up today with a love poem from Greggy! Oh boys...yes I could most defs spend the rest of my life with this one!

Monday he and I had the house all to ourselves...and I got a glimpse of what it's like to live with him...and hells yeah. I could do that. I would never get anywhere ontime, mind you, but hey, maybe that'd be ok ;)

If you're thinking of hanging with Libby on Saturday...well hey! I'll be at Mckennan doing the GSA picnic. Tickets are $5 and god knows we need to sell more! So let me knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

what you've got boy, is hard to find
I think about it all the time
I'm all strung out, my heart is fried
I just can't get you off my mind

Oh, and these are Ke$ha lyrics. :D

I calmed down...

Sorry I vent on here...but it's thereputic...

oh, and I really need more takers for my picnic on Saturday...

I am so goddamn sorry mom

So i don't qualify for the South Dakota Opportunity Scholarship because I didn't take precalc. So it looks like I'm fucked big time and can kiss that 1,000 dollars bye bye. And mom is very angry...

and in the midst of all this Kenzie just goes 'I'll qualify for this'

I lost it...

I'm sorry that I'm putting all this goddamn pressure on you financially mom. Sorry I can't be good enough to actually make you proud. I'm so sorry that I'm not a druggie like my sister or a super athlete like you always wanted.

I'm my own person...and I don't even really like me

I'm a coward and a waste of oxygen...

so now I wonder why I didn't let her mold me

maybe things woulda turned out different.

Prom Promity Prom Prom faaaaaaaaaace...

So, here is a lovely picture of Sir Gregory and I at prom together :)

I had a really great time. Most of this was because of him...I felt more in love with him than I had in a long time. And that's saying something! :D I really feel like I could spend the rest of my life with this one...there are no huge problems. With any other relationship I could tell you what I knew would end us. And with Greg that doesn't really exist. The shittiest thing right now is that I don't get to see him enough. And that'll change real real fast. Maybe the strain of me moving into SDSU and struggling to adapt to a new lifestyle will also hurt, but once again IDK if that'll be breakup worthy...

Other than that though I found prom to be...anticlimatic. I spend my whole high school dreaming about senior prom and I think I just built it up too much in my head. It was fun! It just wasn't life changing. I felt moderately pretty though, and god knows it's been a while since I thought that. Which is strange really. I think I would know I was good looking if Kenzie weren't there to show me what I could have had. What I missed out on. Genetics are the luck of the draw, and Kenzie drew the good ones. I got the fun personality, which I am not even sure is genetic.

And yet I know I could look so much worse! So hey, shut up Trammell. Get your head in the game and stop the pity party...:) sorry. I just had an external pep talk with myself! :o

I'm reading IT...I think I like it so far.

Law and Order SVU...

I was watching Law and Order SVU today and I just got really scared and really angry...

there's a rapist on the loose in Brookings which might reinforce my views here...

Rape is quite literally the worst thing that can happen to a girl in my opinion. It victimizes us women in the worst possible way, because we can never really function again in society...

I've never been raped...

But I'm terrified. I hate being a woman. I hate having to look outside and realize I've missed my chance to jog because it's dark out, and it's no longer safe for a girl.

I hate men who think they rule the goddamn world.

Dear Ziggy,

I am so sorry you feel that you're drowning in the shitty ness of life as of late. I know what it's like to realize that your significant other is older and therefore you're going to be left behind sometimes. Especially when it comes to things like drinking.

But I'm here. I care. I know what your plans are and I am so proud of you. You're taking your dreams by the horns and making them happen.

I respect that.

And I'll miss you...
and I'm not sticking around the Pavilion long after you leave I think...it just wont' be the same.

So...the choice is made...

Taylor is going to U of M...and I feel shattered ish. I'm going to miss him like most people miss their arms. And i cried a lot when I found out...through my mom. She just told me really publicly. He was going to call me and tell me tonight. And it sucks.

But enough with my selfish thoughts.

This will be good for him. I'll just learn to live without the guy that's always been there for me. Through 2 years of middle school and all 4 years of high school. Screw my own insecurity...

He'll be better. He'll be in a socially accepting place that's theatrically supportive. And...it's a better education.

I'm happy for him. I would have to learn to fly on my own sometime...I guess I'll just miss my partner.

I have other friends, but here, let me list them for you...
Taylor
Merecedes
Melanie
Natasha
Annie
Erin

...guess who's going to SDSU? None of those people. I'm giving up everyone I love. And I'mm terrified...

What if I'm not the same person...
what If I lose myself?

What
If
I
Can't
Make
It
?

It's Funny How Life can work sometimes...

I've begun to lose faith in my ability to rely on people...everyone leaves eventually, right? It doesn't matter if they can help it or not. They'll die, or get bored, or decide you're not worth it, and leave. How do I know this? Because I'm doing it myself to people around me. I'm growing up and in doing so I find I've outgrown some people...

Stop fucking talking about the secrets that people tell you. I've tried to make it clear to you that you're not OK when you do this. That you need a goddamn filter. but you don't want to hear it. Maybe now you will. But hey...you should also know that even though I talk a lot, I can look around and notice when it's time to be quiet. And that's a skill that takes developing. Work on it, or the people that are mad at you will actually start saying stuff to you.

Prom Prom Promity Prom Prom...I'm starting to mellow out about it. People assure me I'll look beautiful but the hardest critic as always will be myself. I remember my sophmore year prom. I looked amazing...and I knew it. I felt really upset when I had to go home and take off my dress and take down my hair and wash off my gorgeous new face. I hope I won't be quite as upset about that this year. Hopefully!

No matter what though Greg will think I look beautiful...and that's really super nice. I kind of adore that boy...but hey I guess that's a rant for a different time?

There is a certain couple I've been watching pretty closely...and I would say that the girl is definetly feeling the stress of her boy not being around enough. Gotta say, it's funny as hell.

:)

Dear Mom,

Please stop punishing me for the fact that you had another child...please stop making me cut my dates short because I have to go get her.

Please stop making is so obvious you think I need to lose weight so I can be like her...

Please stop undermining my confidence in SDSU

Please stop making me feel like I'm a shitty kid, when as Alex Danger put it today 'You're a good kid Libby, I don't get why your mom is like this'

I figure in the end I might as well have slept around and done every drug I could get my hands on...

You'd
Treat
Me
Just
The
Same

PS Thanks for at least paying for my prom jewelry. I can count on you for the little sparkly things in life

I hate runny eggs...

I have to agree with Ziggy in his latest blog...he has this theory that everyone is dying on the inside. And that some of us just deal with it better. Now I must say that's a little bit dramatic...but about 70% true...

I'm so sick of school. And I think my body is starting to reject food...it doesn't accept anything that I know isn't good for me. The second I try to eat something sugary i get really nauseous...and that's scary...

But I'd say the main reason I'm depressed is that I have been spending a lot of time with friends this weekend...and its really starting to hit me that I won't be around...I'll lose all these people. Sure, I'll come back, but I wont be that close with anyone...

And as selfish as it is, I am just dying to have Taylor come to SDSU...he's considering U of M in the cities and that'd be a better education for himm...but I'm inherently selfish and it's because deep down, I don't know how to live without taylor there to remind me who I am...I get lost sometimes. I have breakdowns and breakups and breakings...and every single one Taylors been there to catch me. And IDK how to do stuff without him there to help me laugh at myself...

I keep ending paragraphs with ...

Oh wells! Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. I'm terrified of college...literally I shake sometimes thinking about if I'll fit in or not. Oh gosh...being terrified is not fun times for Libby. I think it's because I'm dating Greg, but I want to make friends outside his group of friends. In other words, I wanna make new friends but keep the boyfriend I have now. I'm not sure if that'll be difficult or not. I'm just going to try to be nice to everyone and keep up with my GSA stuff if that's possible.

I know it's easy to say
But it's harder to feel
this way

I'm struggling with the people who knew the old me
And those who are willing to see the person I'm becoming

Happy Birthday to Natasha and Annie! :o

Hmmmm...it was two of my best friends birthdays today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY GUYS!

We toured 'Where the Wild Things Are' today and that was actually really fun..well except for we got lost today. N' I had to save everyone but whatevers! That was fine!

To my friends who are suffering because boys are not very trustworthy and shatter your heart like dirty glass, I guess I just have to ask you, or beg you, to hold on. Hold on with everything you have, because in the end. Yeah, they took the parts of you you cherished the most. They shit all over what you had. And that sucks. It's painful as hell...but they didn't take all of you! You can make it. I think you're fantastically amazing. And, hey, just remember, they'll never have someone with really sexy blonde hair like yours...what? :p well I guess that makes this specific to one person, who i'm not sure even reads my blog. But it can apply to everyone!

Gregory is a darling as always. He wished both my best friends happy birthday and did it with pazazz, at least in Tasha's case. And I miss him big times. Jake needs help with his tux rental though so IDK if I'm gonna see Greg on Friday...but I'll have to carry on...

I'm hoping my weight loss thing isn't hopeless, and that I'll look OK at prom...I guess tht's what I want the most. A beautiful Prom picture I can show my kids someday...but it's totally unlikely...maybe. Idk. I guess we'll find out by the end of the month!

Like the new blog look? It comes from the link in the upper left hand corner! :P

<3

Ugh...sore nesssssssss

Weight loss for prom is not going so well. I'm starting to think it's a lost cause considering the dance in question is only two weeks away...

Went to the doctors office today and that reason'll stay private. But I did get a shot in my arm and that is really very sore...menangitis shots SUUUUUUUUCK.

School is becoming harder and harder to keep up on. I am passing but not by much. AP Lit and Comp is not going super well for me. I need to amp up my game...

I didn't get to see Greg Tuesday and that's realy sad...cause I miss the boy like crazy. Oh wells... D:

MMMMMMMM :)

This weekend was really nice! :D

Of course it was Gregory filled...and I love him. It took me a really long time after Sean to be able to trust anyone to be close to me again, let alone a boy that I was romantically involved with...but for once, when this boy tells me he'll love me forever, I believe him. And I'm not afraid. Not afraid that he'll leave and destroy everything he can get his hands on...because it's Greg. And I love him too...

I asked him to prom today! :o I used a giant sign and attatched it to the T-Rex we have at the pavilion. It looked like it was holding the sign! :D And that's really funny. But anyways I was like 'greg, what does that sign say?' and then he saw it and just started laughing! It was so great. Alex made a documentary of it. That made me giggle a lot.

Hmmmmmmm but enough about that perfect boy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNzrwh2Z2hQ

Watch that clip...it's fantastic. Legitly, epic. It's a remix of the 25 top billboard hits of 2009 and it was very good.

<3

The Answer Is blowing in the wind....

So, Arbogast had me call the Childrens Hospital to set up a time for our show to perform there. Isn't that lovely? She's having me do her job again :/ oh wells that's upsetting. I didn't do any better than her though. They put me on hold a bunch and then couldn't get ahold of anybody! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

Didn't go to school today. Went with my mom instead to look at Canton SD so she could get her new license plates for the new car.

Had a fight with Gregory. I won't go into details, it's just something I ought to mention...

The winds really strong today...its kinda scary! D:

how to save a life...

Well, I would like to lose some weight ladies and gentlemen...it's really bothering me how I look, and lately it's become an almost obession. But no worries, still eating and not vomiting or anything...just stressing about how my prom pictures will look. Because guess who the other two girls are? Skinny one and two. Melanie and Erin. Mel and I used to be the same size until she couldn't eat sugar anymore...and now she's really cutely shaped. Still curvy, but hotter. And i'm still fattish miss Libby...idk. I know I'm not obese. I just wish I looked different? it doesn't help to look at Kenzie and know she had the same genetic makeup as me...she just scored more than I. ugh. whatevers. not important i guess!

Gregory and I have a song now...tis rather beautiful! It's called The Fear You won't Fall by joshua radin. You guys should listen to it...it's a very pretty song.

Angels...do you think they cry? When they look down and see how much the world has changed since they were alive? Do they weep for all the doomed possibilities and lost causes? Or do they look to the future and feel their tears dry because in the end everyone will come to them?

Hell, maybe there aren't any angels. but i think there are...I feel it sometimes...

Which brings me to my belated easter thought.

the sermon in my church on easter was about how all of the stuff he did began with love, and how that made all the difference. I liked it...I think Jesus would have been much cooler than God. Not to insult God but, it just seems so much easier to relate to Jesus. He did what he did because he believed in loving everyone as much as you can...

So I don't get the hardcore christians that say they do what he does and then hate Gays and Lesbians...what? I don't think Jesus would have minded if someone was gay...he would have had them sit down with him and eat with him anyway, the same way he did with women in a time where that was unheard of. Jesus was a feminist...he would have been a gay rights supporter too...

Just saying

Hmmmmmmmmmm

Spring break was funnish! I had a lot of fun actually...I had to work a lot buuuuuuuuuuut, there was plenty o' hanging out time!!!

i guess my only comment is that i'm growing up...I like the person I am. And I can't wait to see what I do next... :0

Spring has Sprung!

Hmmmm...lovin the weather!

I've been pulling major shifts at the pavilion trying to rake in the cash. I think it's working. Plus i have tons o' money on its way for graduation, which I'm not quite clear on the spending of. Like, what I'm supposed to be doing with it. So i'm just sticking it in the savings account, then in my life insurance account once I'm eighteen. But that's a different story...consumer math actually taught me something not pointless! :O

It hit me today on my way to work that melanie will be moving to Utah, and that I'll never really see her again once we're in college. I mean I knew it, I just didn't think about it in depth. And that really flipping sucks...cause she's been one of my best friends for so long, I'm not sure I know how to not be around her...who am I going to piss off for fun?! Lol legit though...I started crying while driving. Lame. And not too safe either...

So I pulled this huge shift at the pavilion today, and then drove to Greg's house...and guess what? I walked in and he just picked me up and proceeded to carry me because he knew my feet would be killing me. Then he gave me a foot rub...which is amazing. Just saying, foot rubs rule. The world would be a better place if the leaders of every country would get together and do foot rubs once and a while. Future UN meeting idea? I think so...

I might shave my head this summer to help raise money for kids with cancer...Any people here who would hate me if I did so? I'm just saying, seems like a decent cause. Although I might be hideous for a while, but hey, whatevers...not much to lose there anyways :p

<3