Meditation...

When i was in middle school I read a lot on Wiccan cultures. Not being a witch, no it was more like worshiping nature and harnessing your inner power. I didn't cast a single spell. Mostly because spells are very tricky. You cannot harm another human being or mess around with free will, or it'll come back to you tenfold. So, it's very important to not do that. Because consequences are not good in these kinds of matters.

Anyways, it taught me how to meditate. And I really enjoy it. Thanks Callie for reminding me that I could...sometimes we get so caught up in our outside world we forget the powers of our insides. It helps me get in touch with how I feel once I'm past all my other problems. Only, I feel closer to the powers that be when it's night time. So I usually am too tired to do it. But that's not a problem. I'm going to go do it now. I like to put on 'The Fray' because i know their music so well I can make it backround noise. Idk, just my thoughts.

We keep fighting, you and I.
I know not what to do...
What should occur
when something so close to your heart
begins to burn?

Little more then this...right now...

So, I'm directing a scene for fresh faces...it's pretty stressful. I really wish that Trimble wasn't in Rapid doing Honors Choir. I miss him like crazy. There's nobody else to calm me down...nobody else knows how. Ugh...

I'm tired. So tired.

I gave blood today...it was ok. I didn't really care for the needle in my arm, but hey whatevers. I know I saved a persons' life and that's enough for me. :D My arm does hurt though...

I'm really not sure where I am...
Can you help me? I feel lost...

Where is my mind?

I'm crying...I love you Matthew Shepard.

This is Matthew Shepard. On October 7, 1998 he was brutally murdered. I know I don't need to recount the story for most of you, but some who read this were not in Laramie Project. Two men who had decided that being gay was wrong tortured, robbed, pistol whipped, and beat Matthew Shepard. They then tied him to a fence in freezing temperatures and left him to die. And, he did, a few days later in the hospital.

This is the result of intolerance. And it drives me CRAZY. Stop fucking saying 'gay' and 'fag' and 'lesbo'. Those are disrespectful, and I will NEVER let my close friends say those things. Fuck you if you do. I'm so angered at the world for trying to control other people.

And this is why today I called around in Michigan promoting a 'vote yes' campaign for a bill that is going to stop an injustice. Did you know it's still legal for people in Michigan to be evicted from their homes if they are gay or transgender? Well, that is going to change. It has to. Please. For me to have faith in the hearts of those in my species it has to...

And as long as I'm on political rant, here's a few comments:

Fuck you people who think women who get raped and molested shouldn't be able to get abortions. CAN'T YOU SEE IT CAN'T ALWAYS BE PROVEN???!?!?! Can't you see what carrying a baby to full term does to a rape victim? Well I'll tell you. The suicide rates are HUGE. Be prochoice. Because, honestly, otherwise I do on most levels consider you anti-woman.

The world I want to live in is something I have to fight for I guess. Well, hey I will...

and it's interesting that Addison is next to me fighting...never saw that one coming...

I will possess your heart

Oh wow so I guess that two of my favorite supervisors are quitting soon...which leaves only Paige and Janelle. Oh goody good good. Don't tell anyone though, it's supposed to be a secret...



I think my job is a might struggle I'm not going to lie. Because we need more supervisors and interactors and no offense Zig but I would really like another girl interactor because right now i feel awkward since the only time anyone talks to me is to hit on me... :/ I made really good friends with Sonya and Jody, but they both had to leave the KSDC for their own reasons! D: I think if we could get a really nice girl that would be pleasant...

Spooky Science Night is finally fucking over thank god. I hated that thing, not going to lie.

My dear Merecedes Meerkat stayed over last night. She really needed to get away from her mom...which is really nice I think because I really needed a friend to just chat with...I haven't done that for too long with Mercy!!!! It was pleasant beyond words. Oh, and we've decided tootsie rolls are the devil. Don't ask... ;)

OH CALLIE SPECIAL NOTE FOR YOU: Positively Fourth Street by Bob Dylan is a really fun vengeful song when it comes to breakups...it helps me a lot... :D I'm so sorry I didnt think of it sooner!

So, let's see...um...yeah I don't really think that there's much else to talk about!

I love you alllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Must Love Dogs!

Oh gosh so I'm watching Must Love Dogs and I had forgotten how much I love this movie. It's officially on my list of Libby Approved Films. If any of you ever need a good movie with some romance in it, let me know. I adore romances. Like, here's a list followed by some great little facts:

1. Must Love Dogs (This one is perfect for divorcees. Oh gosh and it's so sweet...the main guy says the best things! LIBBYS FAVORITE LINE: "You're my unique constellation of attributes, my hailey's comet..." yeah he says that to her. Tell me that's not amazing.

2. She's Just Not that Into You (funny, kind of cynical. Really realistic though) LIBBYS FAVORITE LINE: "Everyone keeps their dipshits because we hear stories about other girls who had dipshits just like ours and they got married and are totally happy! WELLL WE NEED TO STOP BECAUSE NONE OF US ARE THE EXCEPTION! We are always the rule." yeah...that's true.

3. P.S. I love you (This is a great breakup movie. It helps you get over someone) LIBBYS FAVORITE LINE: "It doesn't matter what I do or what I don't do, or what friends I have, He's NOT HERE...I-I'm not here..." It's really nice...shows how hopeless losing the one you love is


that is all i have time for kittens

I took the ACT...ugh...

LOVE

An ode to 'Spooky Science Night' at the washington Pavilion

Eyes branded awake like fire,
each word leaving my mouth is of space
I cannot speak but to smile and seem cheery
there's something so wrong with this place
Feet cramp, voice gives, hope remains immune
I would leave except I think, I'm just now reaching third base


yeah...made sense to me

soooooo....I'm watching the office!

I really like the office. Tis a really funny show, and I really enjoy it. Like, I just laughed until my eyes watered. It made me really happy!!!!

So, I don't have braces anymore, and my retainer fucking hurts...

Today I was at Liz's house and I met Rich's girlfriend Shelbi. She seemed pretty nice actually...though I won't lie, if Rich and Shelbi wrestled any more on the ground Whitney was going to start screaming her head off. She was terrified, and the rest of us were just uncomfortable. And I just kept randomly laughing because it was so ridiculous that they were so sexual in front of us.

Whatever, I'm happy for him...even if he did scar my little sister. But hey, whatev's not a worry. Rich is very smiley with her and I love it...plus she seemed nice. I admire her courage to just walk into a room full of people that she didn't know.

Tomorrow is me and Sean's fourth monthaversary. So thats a plus! :D

Daylight!

OH MY GOSH! So...if none of you have read Sean/Madison's blog lately Sean put up a link for a website called givesmehope.com and it's really inspiring. Seriously, go there. It's layed out like FML only it shows happy things! :D

SOOOOO...in the spirit of things I'm going to say what inspires me...and gives me hope:

1.) The song 'Daylight' by Matt and Kim...I CANT be sad when I hear it...I did a car dance to it today! And some people stared at me, but who cares? Lolz.

2.) Getting my braces off...I feel beautiful...I really do. It's a rare occurance for me...but I'm starting to believe you guys when you say I'm pretty. I feel pretty...

3.) Merecedes' photography...I feel proud to be able to say that such a unique mind is so close to my heart...

4.) Callie's composure and strength. I know we aren't super close, but honestly I think you're superwoman. You're a strong one, trust me.

5.) Ziggy's perserverence and willingness to listen...sometimes I just need to talk to someone who's been through more then me. That's you Zig.

6.) Natasha's kindness...you're nice. Never mean to me...ever...I love it.

7.) Sean's heart. It's so pure, all the time...I can't explain it to you guys I guess...there's not a speck of dirt on it anywhere...idk...it's truely awe-inspiring

8.) Me. Myself...I think I'll be a good person...certainly a fun one! ;D

Love and Peace to all, let tonight be eye-opening and life alteringly amazing for each of you.

P.S. You're amazing

It inspires me...

If you haven't yet commented on that sonnet in my previous post, please do...and here, I'll tell you what it means to me...

Shakespeare was saying that in life, everyone we know and everything we see an everything we've ever loved will eventually die and fade away...and this is ok. It is peaceful and natural. We all pass from this world and into the next. And, here's the way I see it...the world, our world, will never again be EXACTLY the same as it is RIGHT NOW. So live. Take advantage of opportunity. Do not be afraid to look stupid, because those who judge you must not be alive enough to recongize life in someone. I'm just starting to realize these things...and I feel...enlightened? That's the purpose of great literature though, isn't it? To make us learn some new fact about life? Something that unites us so we don't feel so very alone?

Well...this postsecret card is true. Much truer then most can know...

Sonnet

When I have seen by Time's fell hand defaced
The rich proud cost of outworn buried age;
When sometime lofty towers
I see down-razed
And brass eternal slave to mortal rage;
When I have seen the hungry ocean gain
Advantage on the kingdom of the shore,
And the firm soil win of the watery main,
Increasing store with loss and loss with store;
When I have seen such interchange of state,
Or state itself confounded to decay;
Ruin hath taught me thus to ruminate,
That Time will come and take my love away.
This thought is as a death, which cannot choose
But weep to have that which it fears to lose.

That is sonnet number 64 by William Shakespeare...its my favorite of all his sonnets (though I confess I have not read them all...)

Read it once, twice, three times. If you're like me you'll fall for these pretty words...leave a comment. Tell me what this peom means to you...idk, I'm interested to see what you guys say.

I find that peace in my soul is utterly refreshing :)

Currently, right now, it is the perfect temperature in my house. My dog Jasper is asleep, Kenzi is in the other living room, and Sean is curled up on the couch next to me sleeping. :) My parents are out of town today. It's nice to just have the house to me and my loves. Things are...quiet...and I find I can feel the restlessness coming on. I should hope it keeps itself at bay for a while...

To Merecedes; dear if you want to lose weight and keep it off, then getting sick is so not the way to do it...

To Ziggy; oh I know that you're sick of the KSDC. Find me someone who f****** isn't. I really hate it...that is I hate the way that things are organized there. Janelle has no f'ing clue what she's doing. She expects us all to know how to do everything based on a list. I hate the exhibit lists. They're ridiculously stupid...and Jess needs better training. Paige pretty much hates me I'm sure. Drew is probably gonna quit soon just so he can do CLC full time and that just leaves Jess. Whoo hoo...ugh. Just saying, that place is a circus. I just try and do my job and then get the hell out. I'm incredibly envious of your ability to know almost everyone in the pavilion by the way...I feel like I'm pretty much invisible compared to you and alex. Because you guys know CLC and Leo's and all the big bosses and I'm like, 'hey! I'm just an interactor...' Hell, I don't even know where CLC is in the building exactly. How's that for pathetic? Yeah...

Sean snores really softly when he sleeps. :) I like it a lot...

Well, I love you all. Every little thing is going to be all right.

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Oh gosh have a look at that cutie! :D

Lolz, I really love this picture actually...I'm adorable here, not gonna lie. It was LHS spirit day by the way, I didnt just decide to randomly paint my face those colors...

So, today Sean was sick. But then again, so is about one third of Lincoln...seriously. Marching band alone is missing 40 students! Is that not craziness? Ugh, not going to lie I'm really terrified of swine flu. Seriously, I feel like I could cry. Would you like to hear my ridiculous irrational fears? Well, here they are:

1. Someone at Lincoln will die of it. Then mass chaos will ensue...
2. It's a zombie virus. Seriously. Don't laugh at me. I have an apocolapse fear. If it's played in a comedic light, like Zombieland was, then I'm fine, but during the commercials for movies like '2010' then I will literally start hyperventalating....I REALLY CANT TAKE IT! ugh...it's not even my own death either. It's the idea that EVERYONE I ever knew or saw or talked to or loved would be gone. Every single one. Yeah, that shit is scary lolz...

So, yeah those are my issues....glad I told you? ;)

Tonight I went with Josiah (Ziggy) to the Washington Pavilion and did the "Simply Electric" demonstration for the major donors of the Pav...it was kinda nerve racking, but they really loved it and eventually Zig and I put on a hell of a show. But, then I got a parking ticket because I was parked twenty mins before when i was allowed to. Oh shit. So sorry dumbass officer. Lolz.

WELLLLL, I love you guys! :D

SIGH...oh dear...I'll say some words

I hope they ease your aching soul dear one. I know it's not the same situation. God knows, it never is...but the questions don't ever cease. You're the only one that can stop them. They worm their way into your brain and shatter any feelings of comfort...things like 'what did I do wrong? Was I just not a good enough girlfriend to him? Is it because I wouldnt fuck him? What makes her so goddamn special?'

Yeah...there aren't a lot of people who have any semblence of knowledge when it comes to the pain of being betrayed by one you've let into your heart. It feels like they looked around and said, 'hey this is nice, but I'm gonna fuck it up and leave, k?'

Oh goodness girly...let me attempt to ease the cutting confusion, if only temporarily...

1. She's not better then you...nobody is. We're all on an equal playing field here.
2. It is NEVER NOR WILL IT EVER BE YOUR FAULT! Even if you think, 'well if i'd made him happier.' well guess what? He should have ended it if he was unhappy. Instead of commiting an act of betrayl, he could have at least broken your heart in an easier way...
3. Life is not fair dear...because as I'm sure you've come to realize, this is the plain and bare truth of it:

You did nothing wrong. You were there for him, and you loved him the best way you knew how, and SHE (be it whomever) took him away. SHE is the one who committed a crime of society and courtesy, and she's the one who gets the prize. Him. And everyday we get to live with this knowledge that life fucked us over, when we, quite literally, only loved...

There is comfort in this however...the knowledge that if he is capable of that...well then we dont want him. Ok, we do want him, and the craving for his attentions will take a while to wane, but then you'll start to realize...he made a major mistake in letting you slip past. And the worst way of getting back at him is to try and move on. Don't waste your time trying to win him back. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Lol...I should know...

I hope I helped...refer any questions directly to my cellular! :D

No, No, No, No, No, No, No

STOP PLEASE MAKE IT STOP...I would like to get off this car wreck of a merry go round I call a family now please...

Jasper is dying, My mom says he's not going to make it through the week...

MacKenzie is so far beyond a girl I even can recongize as my sister anymore.

My Mother is depending on me...she told me that her blood pressure is off the charts and she thinks she's due for a heart attack...

Life is spinning wildly away from where I can control it...and sometimes I feel like sleeping past school and into oblivion. I think it would be easily done...

Ugh, I love you all. It's the only thing that keeps me from walking out onto the thin ice coating my lake and daring the fates to end my miserable existance. I won't though...because as you've all told me YOU couldnt live without me...

If I kept driving

If I kept driving,
Into the dark, starry horizon
how would I be?
To never lay eyes upon this place again
This cold house,
My dying dog,
My misshapen form,
The girl I once knew
Who exists with me in this cold house
She seems to care not who she offends
Hurts, jibes, pain
Is all she causes now
Hearts break like glass
Shards slice
Blood Spills
And I keep driving

LOLZ

ok i know this is my second post of the day but this is just too damn funny!

My douchebag abusive uncle Jim crashed his plane today. He broke like everything. I'm so happy that dick is in pain :D

Stupid Internet failings!

So, I'm rather upset because I have two internet addictions: Shane Dawson and Postsecret. And guess who hasn't updated even though they ALWAYS do on the weekends? Those two things! Dang it I was really looking forward to both those things! Lolz.

So, today I worked from 11:30-5:15 and it was ok...Sundays are always pretty silly and slow. Today was good though. we had a lot of people and that is always good. I wore a safari hat all day lolz. They call me safari LIBBY! tee hee.

Ziggy came in and visited me. He brought me a two liter of Coke, and a normal bottle of coke like what you would buy in a vending machine, and a bag of Wint-o-green life savers! :D Lolz, oh wow it was delicious! Thanks Zig! Only THEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNN...Ziggy went out and smoked. After he hadn't for two and a half weeks and then he did. Ugh Zig. Why? I was so proud of you before you did that. And I'm not gonna go drink good sir just because you smoked. You broke our little pact, but I'm still not going to drink...hooray for me! Lolz.

Good god it is freaking cold out! My skin is getting so dry and i can't find ANY LOTION in my flipping house! UGH!

Ok, it's in fact fictional crush time!!!!! HOORAY!

This is Lafayette from 'Trueblood' and he makes me giggle alot. I realize that this character is gay, and that duh he'll never care about me like I care about him. Lolz. I really just like him because he makes me giggle a lot. For instance, the guy says Fuck and always makes it sound urgent like he is super upset even though it's like his favorite word and most people nowadays dont put enough 'oomph' into it lolz.

Well, hey I love you ALLLLLLL!

Home Alone

So, it was Richard and Mom's three year anniversary so she took him to Stillwater, MN for the weekend, but she needed somebody to watch the dogs, so she said I could stay at the house alone all weekend! :D only at night it gets kind of scary, but whatevs thats cool. Last night sean slept over (it was perfect, being in his arms all night) and then tonight it's just me. I really hope I'll be OK!!!! But I think I will...

Tonight I RP'ed at Jake's house, and it was pretty damn fun I'm not gonna lie. I enjoyed it immensly. We're doing a Star Wars one currently, just to get a break from vampires. Although the next one will be vamps, but that's not important right now lolz.

Well, I'm super tired folks, and I's gots work in da morning! So, g'night!

YA BITCH YA

I woke and dreamt I was dying of thirst

My drink is life

Vivid, terrible, sunshiney life

Breaking your heart with its beauty

Each star shines with it

Some faraway bliss

You cannot quite grasp

Little more then fantasy is the world

How you see

Perceive

Do you perceive? Myself? The world?

Each tilt of the Earth can land us on our heads

Stay afloat, tread water,

Stare at the stars...

Poems keep bubbling out of me like that...I don't know if they're even any good but I enjoy writing them at least...they give me peace where I usually find exhaustion. At that part of my brain that I don't completely understand, and I don't ever want to! The mystery is mystical...

So, today Arbogast snapped at me in front of everyone in the little theatre during critiques. Wow. I got SO PISSED and then I realized that Hey Guess What? Arbies isn't the same person she was when I first decided I loved her...really, she's become a different person. And I miss the fun one that I could trust with my problems...idk...she seems to be more power hungry and full of shit. I blame her boyfriend. You guys know who I blog of...yeah. He's changed her. And I'm sick of D, hagg, and arbies fighting all the fucking time. You know what? You guys are adults!!!! Get the fuck over it. Seriously! LEARN TO SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS! Ugh...really???!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?! I'm seventeen and I solved a fight with Merecedes (also seventeen) in an hour...seriously!

I had dinner with Ziggy tonight at the diner. It was supposed to be his and Sarah's one year today, so he needed some cheering up. So, I listened to him talk about her for about two and a half hours, and talked him through some of his depression. You're a strong capable person Zig, and I know you can do it!

So yeah, then we walked around downtown for a really long time and talked about life and stuff. Zig, I dont think you'll ever be able to understand how much you help me just by talking me through my problems! Especially since you have a new perspective on just about everything...it's always fun. Lolz, and that fountain was pretty funny! You know what I speak of! :D

Lolz, well I love you AAAALLLLLLLLL

Three strikes you're out...

OH WOW. So I've had three offers to go drink tonight and all of them have been more tempting then I could ever tell you...Elias had my favorite stuff! Stupid promises...READ THIS ZIGGY?!?!? The more you don't smoke, the more I don't drink! It's a fun mutual stress inducer. Lolz, since I know you and I will be terrible to put up with without our vices to calm us down...maybe we'll have to actually learn to deal with our stress using healthy methods?!?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :)

So, looks like I'm sophing Natasha, John, and Sean and froshing Kenzi, Cora, and Lisa! :D Should be a fun time!!!!!!! Only I can't divulge any secrets of what we're going to do to them...tee hee.

So, for the first time in my life, I find that I CANNOT write a good story. At all. Not even a semblence of a good one. Mr. Bogart is going to hate me tomorrow because I won't have anything for him...or worse he just won't care because I mean nothing to him. And I want him to be like, 'oh damn it I wanted to hear those poetic words only Libby can produce!' Eh, whatever. No point to it anyways.

I love you all! G'night!

P.S. Hey, you're beautiful

I really love the 'oh shit!' moment this picture represents...like, can you imagine what that surfer is thinking? I read somewhere it was actually a dolphin...but when you think it's a shark it makes it just that much better!

I'm watching 'The Office' right now and I forgot how much I really loved this show lolz. I wish Jim and Pam could just be together already! Except I heard that they do actually get married in the most recent season but still!

Homecoming was pretty fun today! It was cowboy/southern belle day and I really loved it. I wore my mom's cowgirl hat and shoes plus her fringy leather jackety thing...it was actually really funny! I enjoyed it! Tomorrow will probably be the only time I wear anything resembling shorts to school because I hate them that much...well actually I hate my legs, and shorts show them! So, this is a dilemma...but I'll just hope that nobody comments on how wierdly hideous I am...???

It's fictional crush time ladies and gents!

This is Angel from Buffy the Vampire Slayer! He is the very first heart throb you see when you watch the television show...and if you're like me and a total freakazoid and you follow his television career, you know he now stars in 'Bones', which is really coolio...and anyways Angel is really fun because he is the only vampire with a soul in the entire show! Well, he's not but I can't spoil the storyline! I fell for Angel because he was the cutie on my favorite show, but also because he did this whole 'Oh wow I'm a vampire and I deserve to suffer' thing and it was just really cute...so yeah in this instance I fell for the emo guy! But a vampire emo, so maybe that's better?

Lolz, ok I love you guys!

Lolz, I remember this is exactly how I felt when I fell for Eric! :D Only he was a terrible republican...only one because the rest of his family was. My mom is a rebel with her Democrat views...and I am when it comes to my dad's side of things. Women should be able to chose if they have a child or not, and people should be allowed to get married, whether they're the same sex or not. Calm down kittens, it's not like homosexuals want to eat to you or anything...jeez just let em get married. It's funny, because around post-civil war times, people were flipping out about biracial couples...every generatation has it's discriminations...lets try and eliminate ours?

Hmmmm...so yesterday I went shopping with Merecedes at Plato's Closet, and bought a classy black sweater and some acid wash green skinny jeans :D So, now I'm really cool right? Lolz. Then after that I picked up Sean, and we went to Festival of Bands. It was HELLA COLD outside...but hey whatevs...he kept me pretty warm ;)

Rich was also at the Festival at Bands...I tried to take his cigarettes away from him so I could destroy them (Sound familar Zig? lolz) and he stopped me...I forgot how freaking strong that kid is. Mark my words, he's a little bit more human. I think he might be a fairy....I think Becca Mundt is a fairy too! Both Rich and Becca have this odd draw that causes people around them to just follow em! Think about it...they're fairies............lolz

Oh Ziggy, I did read your whole blog, every word. I didn't skip the Sarah parts. You should go down and see her though dude...road trip? Oh hellz yeah! :D

ANOTHER LIBBY POEM FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION:

Little more then a spark
Lit up my world
Broken, scared, cold
Till your light touched my skin
Warmth, love, oh my....
I find I should never be away from you
If I should ever wish for happiness
I love you...

Bring on the Wonder, Bring on the Song...

I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long
Bring on the wonder, we got it ALL WRONG
We pushed you down deep in our souls for too long...

I don't have the time for a drink from the cup, let's rest for a while
Till our souls catch us up....

OH wow I love this song...Just woke up and I'm in one of my infinite moods...Merecedes will know what this means ;)

SO...here's a poem of my own devices, just for you kittens....

Darkness overcomes my mind
My heart battles valiantly
Never again shall I say these words, torn from my lips
hurled at a friend's hurting heart
I apologize, my Angel
For hurting you
Never my intention
Who am I?
Where do I belong?
Am I wasting my life?
Questions aplenty, like weights underwater
sucking into the depths
I reach up to the light, begging for air
for answers
There are none.
So make your own



Yeah...

Oh what a doozy of a day...

So, today I drove to school in Brio :) Only...there's just a teensy problem...you see, Brio, though adorable, as you can plainly see in this photo, is, in fact, not at all water proof. I get dripped on ALL THE TIME! when I drive her...ugh. And my mom doesn't believe me...well hey whatever I only have to put up with that bullshit for another year. :)

I'll miss so many of you when I leave though...but that's a different blog for the future!

So, anyways after school I went to work at the KSDC, and it was first free friday, which means admission is freeeeeeeeeeeee! Except that means that my life, for those five hours, very much resembles hellish regions. Lolz. It was cool though. Made some cash and all that jazz. Got to work with Ziggy, which is always a treat. Except Paige got angry at me because Zig and I would rather talk then work. ;) that's how i always am! And then Alex proposed to me with a pipe cleaner ring and a paper cobra to put on my Egyptian headdress (the theme for tonight was Egypt). Only then Ziggy decided he could beat alex and made me a better ring, with a pom pom jewel and all that fancy stuff! Lolz...and then after work Ziggy, Sonya, and I went to the diner for milkshakes....it was a good day actually.

So, I'm starting to get pissed at people. You know, just because I talk a lot doesn't mean I'm not capable of keeping my mouth shut if it's gonna kill someone on the inside. A little trust would be nice folks. If it's a secret, I can keep it...ugh.

And as a side effect of my being gone, I wasn't there for the first two runthroughs of the Variety Show at LHS. I'm the student director, and I couldn't be there. You know what the director told me? "that's fine! I have Kiki." Ugh. Kaleigh fucking Fletcher. Everyone in tech hates her...and I feel bad that I just ditched them with her...she's such a bad christian. there's two kinds, and she's the shitty kind. UGH!

So....fictional crush time? yes, yes I do believe so! :D

Yeah, I'm guessing none of you are really suprised on this one...LOLZ. Oh wow. So, when Jack Sparrow got eaten by the Kraken in the second POTC movie, I actually went into a clinical depression. I didn't get out of bed or anything...it was terrible! It was because I adored POTC's world more then my sick, sad reality...I get lost sometimes between the real world and the fiction I read...it's really not a good thing...however at this point I was still pretty young...or young by my standards. I was a way different person before my sophmore year in High School. I call it my pre-boys self...cause Heintz and Binger changed me...yeah...if you need a refresher on my boyfriends over the years I blogged about them in one of my April posts entitled 'Not Sure Why...' It's a good one! even has pictures! Lolz.

This is Oz, from the BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER! I told you you'd hear a lot bout this show...SO Oz was an anamole for me because usually I like the lovable rogue, but here I fell for the quiet, artsy, mellow werewolf. Yeah Merecedes, he's a werewolf. And what i always loved about the show, and this is a way to tell a hardcore fan from a mediocre one, is that Oz's hair color would change almost every couple episodes. Black, blonde, red, whatevs and it was always subtle. I really loved it! lolz. Oh, and Oz is in love with Willow, and he does some really sweet stuff for her...like she's having a nightmare and he gently shakes her awake and whispers, "it's ok, come back to me." Oh wow, tis amazingly cute! :D

Well...that's all for now folks!