Updates.

I like ke$ha. so deal.

I'm dying in this town. Same thing every fucking day. Get up and go to a job I hate that doesn't pay me enough to do all the shit I do.

once I get off I'll be too tired or too broke to really anything fun.

I'm moody and depressed and finding it harder and harder to smile with any real fervor.

I went and saw a comedy last night and I laughed in earnest once. The rest of the time I was trying to go along and get some happy inside me. I only came away realizing how lonely one of the main characters would be. Wow. Pessimist much?

I did like the new theatre though. I think that's what I need. what I crave is change.

Dear god if my mom tells me I have a temper I have to watch one more time I'll punch her fucking face in I swear.

My sister's a little theif who fucks over anyone just so she can get a laugh. I barely see her and when I do she's just trying to take what's mine.

I'm begging someone to
get
me
out
of
this
place.

I'm dying here.

It's my first time watching Jersey Shore...

This show is really stupid...

Anyways.

HORRIBLE DAY AT WORK.

I have an interview next week though for the children's museum in Brookings and I'mm really excited for that :)

New Cat meets old cat!

So we're trying to introduce my new cat, buster, to my old cat, maggie. This is not going well. Today we brought up Buster in a kitty kennel, and put him next to maggie and she FLIPPEDD OUT! Full on attacked the kennel...

Meanwhile, rufus is barking tons and ends up hiding behind me...

Degrassi!!!!!!

Kenzie is back from Milwaukee. I kind of missed her...IDK. It's nice to have someone who thinks like me back at the house. Because really, for all her bitchy-ness, I do love her.

Melanie left. She said bye to me at work. Taylor was there. Probably one of the single most tortourous moments of my life. It'll be worse when I leave Taylor.

I think you guys should go see 'Date Night', it was pretty funny. Greg and I enjoyed it.

NOTE: IF ANYONE HAS TICKETS FOR THE ARCADE IN THE WEST MALL, YOU SHOULD GIVE THEM TO ME OR TO GREG.

We are working to get the 12,000 ticket St Bernard that's as big as me :)

Well there goes one third....

My two best friends who have stood by me and reminded me who I was were always Melanie and Taylor. We were the trio, the triad, the triplets. Whatever. When we used to go to places like Melanie's church we would get asked if we were cousins. Close. There has never been a true crisis since I turned 13 that Taylor or Melanie wasn't there to help me with...

So what will I do now? Melanie leaves on Thursday. Taylor a scarce month from that.

What do you do when you see the parts of you you love the most slip through your fingers? What if I'm too much of a bitch to make friends at SDSU? What if I come off arrogant and asshole-ish?

What if my worst fears are right?

and i'm defined by those around me

because if that's true then I'll never
be
free

Goodbye Melanie. I love you like a sister. We fought like crazy, but you gave me the gift of seeing the world through different eyes. Before I met you and Taylor I was suicidal. An alcoholic who wasn't going to come back from the brink of the dark. You woke me up and showed me there was still light.

I love you.

Go to Utah and become the person I always knew you would become. I'm excited to see how you shake things up there :)

:)

I'm excited for life