Libby is STRESSED THE FUCK OUT!

So. Variety show is really starting to fall apart, just when we need to be bringing it together...and who does Arbys yell at ALL THE TIME? Me. Always me. And today Erin Haan got mad at me because I barked an order at her. Fucking sorry Erin, but I need you to do your god damn job. And that involves me screaming at you now and again! Ugh...seriously. I've always admired Erin, but she needs to get off her high horse and learn to take orders as well as say them. Ugh ugh ugh!

And then there's of course the drama. So here it goes, and this really just is the long and short of it: Becca and Justin fucked up big time. Seriously. Justin. wow dude...um, Becca cheated on you and you wouldn't shut up about how much that hurt for SO LONG and then you go and cheat on Callie? Hmmmm...I smell HYPOCRISYYYYYYY!!!!!!



So...yeah. Sorry to whomever I offended, but those are the facts.



Anyways, one more fictional crush before I has to go do homework (i'll do one everyday until i run out...) and you guys will see plenty from this show, so get used to it ;)

This is Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer...before he got the nickname Spike (which was given to him because he would drive railroad spikes into the heads of his victims) he was known as William the Bloody. I like Spike though :)

Ok, so here we once again see the lovable rogue...yummy yummy yum yum...um yeah he has a leather duster that he wears from the second slayer he kills. And I have one too. So that when Spike finally realizes that he loves me, we can be in leather together! lolz jk jk

yeah, I love him because of the things he says to buffy once he falls in love with her...oh gosh i can recite the speech he gives her in the final season. It makes me cry every time...because he is so good at poetically expressing how he feels! :D I enjoy it big time!

Well, ta ta for now!

well if you want to sing out, SING OUT!

Oh gosh, it's been a good day...well except I blew up at my little sister today because she took my Renassiance Festival sweatshirt that cost me thirty five dollars, and she freaking LOST IT! And oh god, I am so pissed! Except, my mom managed to take Kenzi's phone away and now she is PISSED AS HELL! lolz its really really funny. My mom is really cool sometimes! :D

Ok, so let's see...today there wasn't any practice so Sean and I went back to my dad's house and cuddled. :) it was really nice to just be with him. And then, I went home, and I've been here for hours! Doing nothing! Lolz. I've been sitting on the couch for a really long time and I've been watching 'Bones' the entire time! It's a fantastic shooooooooowwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!! Lol.

Um...so for kicks and giggles....I've decided to write a little about my very favorite fictional crushes...

DISCLAIMER! I do not do this to offend anyone, and my real life crush is far more important ;)

SO...Rhett Butler was my original fiction crush. Clark Gable plays him in the Movie 'Gone With the Wind' and I fell for him there, but once I read the book I knew it was eternal lolz. He and I would have fit well together, because he was all about challenging the way people thought about things, and he liked a girl who could speak her mind. Well, hey look at that. Libby can do that very well. And I would love to style his gelled back hair. Just saying, it'd be fun to play with. Though sex hair wouldn't be very easy to hide. Oh, and Rhett just has a bad ass name...seriously. Elizabeth Butler. Check that out bitches! :D



Erik Northman...oh gosh he's my viking from trueblood. Seriously, he's a viking. He got turned when he was a Viking, so he is eternally my very favorite viking. :) I really liked him because he calls Sookie love, and like Rhett Butler, he is the lovable scoundrel and he tricks girls into falling in love with him. Which I think would just be a fun game to play. Libby would, without a doubt win. And Erik is a vampire, and that really is always nice to me. I think only because they would be able to tell you SO MUCH about life and human nature and the world.


I'll put more down later...

Well Helloooooo there! :D

Oh gosh...so this weekend has been pretty crazy! Firstly, I've spent almost twenty four hours straight with Tasha! YA BATCH YA! lolz....

Yeah, so Rich seems to be growin up. For one thing, he actually called me this morning and had a little chit chat with me, which he's never done before. Idk, I think college is shaping him into an amazing man. I hope he can find himself...same goes to Justin, who, as it turns out is leaving today too. I know there's no way at all that he'll read this, but I want him to go to Oregon, and look for himself. And hopefully he'll find that he NEEDS HELP! But don't ever come back Justin. Like in the Lion King. I'm Scar bitch. Leave my fukkin pride lands! :D

Um...lets see...OH! I went to "The Hangover" with Ziggy last night! Oh gosh so I cackle and he has this really deep chuckle and combined they're like the most annoying thing ever and so basically us going to a really good comedy is not a good combo for anyone around us. But, hey, it's all gooooooood! Lolz. The Hangover was really good. I loved it! And then afterward zig and I got BK and sat in the back of his truck and ate it while we talked. It's funny, because we're polar opposites in SO MANY things, but not in the way we think. Or the way we see the world, politics excluded. Idk. It was a good time Zig! I enjoyed it! :D

Alright, I think that's it! I love you all.

Libby's Real Sleepy

So, last night Sean slept over at my dad's house because his mom took and sold most of his xbox games...which means that she's a douche bag extraordinare...wow what a bitch. i can't stand that stupid bitch! Seriously, some people shouldn't be allowed to have children. There should be a test they gotta pass first or something...

So, yeah there's been some terrible stuff going on...Becca caused this huge rip between Justin and Callie and now they're broken up. And seeing as today is, in fact, Saturday, I'm willing to bet that Justin is on his way to Oregon by now. Well, good riddens. the boy never caused anything but harm to any girl I met. Sure, he was funny, but it bordered on ridiculous, and what he did to callie is unforgivable. So fuck him. Go rot in Oregon Justin Williamson. I'll take care of the problems you caused here you coward.

In a way, it feels like when Elias left. I have all this anger and nobody to yell at...ugh. And I don't really blame Becca that much. I mean, yeah the girl keeps making shitty sexual decisions, and she did fuck with Merecedes one too many times for me to ever really like her again, but I understand that she was still in love with Justin. So most of the anger here is in Mr. Williamson's direction...

Ziggy and I had dinner at the diner Thursday night. that was pleasant! I really like hanging with Ziggy, since there's no pressure to help him with anything. I don't need to save him, or make him feel better about anything...hell if anything he's the one who saves me. It's nice though. Zig and I don't even have any chemistry, which makes things even better! :D

oh, and I really loved your last post Zig!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love you too Sean, and I miss you darling!

Tasha, this postcard reminded me of you...not cause youre gay...but I'm sure you'll get it.

Isabelle, what can i do? The last thing I need is to end up askew...

The prophets make it difficult...

Sorry, those are some lyrics from a really great song Merecedes gifted me with! :D

So...in creative writing we have to write a page about what we want our one page in the book of the universe to be...and here's mine...cause I really like it...

Libby’s eyes were remarkable. Very few humans could match that shade. They were so dark they almost could be called black. More importantly, their deep, fathomless pools had seen too much sorrow, cried too many tears, and seen too many wrongs in the world. Her mouth, the lower lip plumper then the top one had experienced enough frowns to know that every smile was a gift, something to be cherished. This girl was not really beautiful by any standards. She should have been, as she had clear skin pretty eyes, decent hair, a nice smile, and yet somehow these features had arranged themselves into a way in which she was, in fact, quite average looking.
She rarely ever entered a room without searching out someone to talk to, as that was her favorite activity, followed closely by writing. And in her search, Libby rarely had a situation where she didn’t know someone, at least as an acquaintance. There wasn’t really anything amazing about her that grabbed people’s attention except her never-ending capacity for conversation, no matter the topic. And yet she could listen, as so many extroverts rarely can. Libby could listen, and keep secrets without ever thinking twice about the effort.
She loved. Unconditionally and without restraint. It was Libby’s personal philosophy in life that mankind was capable of many terrible things, including hatred of its own species. She also believed that humans were more capable of love then anything else on the planet. Love was man’s redeeming quality. Love was the meaning and sole purpose of life. To love and be loved and to change people’s lives and brighten them with love.

Let me know what you think!

So Ziggy did this thing on his blog where he explained where he had been in his life, and cited this as the reason he was who he was...and I think I'll do that too!

So, In middle school I was pretty much an outcast. I had friends, but not anyone who was really very close to me. I was...odd too. I had too much of a taste for the darkness than anyone else I knew. And so i turned to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I know some of you are laughing right now, but this is why I never laugh at manga nerds or anything. Because I understand the NEED to escape to a world that accepts you. To a world you can understand. I was obsessed with Buffy all year, and it was all i could talk about, until I lost most of my friends...

Anyways, I was pretty much alone. All the time. I believe this is what shaped my ability to be on my own without being unhappy. In fact, I enjoy it. The quiet is nice. But mostly, in these times, I would sit in my room, blasting music and contimplating how to end my life bloodily...Avril Lavigne. Read her lyrics...idk I know nobody likes her anymore blah blah blah but if you get the chance read her lyrics 'Forgotten' that was my favorite song. Listen to it. You'll understand angry Libby more...ANYWAY these times toughened me up. I learned the importance of friends helping you up when taylor trimble came into my life. My first suicidal friend! He was just like me...different. I loved him immediately. As a friend btw.

It taught me that you need to save people for them to live. Everyone falls, everyone needs a hand. I also learned to be tougher. Life fucking kicks you in the ribs every chance it gets. It's just a matter of getting the fuck over it and moving on. Idk...I think I'm rambling...hope I helped though...

I love you all...you've all changed my life...

L lllllllll libby???!?!?!?!? ITS ME!

OK SO LETS START WITH YESTERDAY!?

Oh gosh you guys yesterday was really great...Sean was with me almost all day...and my mom had given me her car so we could go everywhere...we went to the Outdoor Campus which was really great...basically we cuddled in a meadow and I read his tarot cards and then I read some Emily Dickinson to him. I know it sounds really cheesy, but it was sunny and perfect temperature and I was with Sean, which only made it better...oh gosh...I was so happy to be there, just cuddling.

Then we went to see Merecedes, who is utterly adorable...I love you Cedes!

AND THEN...we went back to my house and my mommy made us grilled cheese, which rocks really hardcore. She really likes him. Lolz.

then we went to '9' with Jake and Erin, Dan and Kirstin, and Justin and Callie. I didn't really care for the movie a ton. Dan said it seemed like it shoulda been a short story and I agree. There just wasn't enough substance there for them to make a full length film. And then we went to jake's and watched a little of jurassic park, which was fucking hilarious with Justin narrating. But what isn't funny with Justin narrating? Lolz.

Tomorrow is me and Sean's three month...I love him so much you guys. I could easily spend the rest of my life with him, and not have a problem...he is so great. Plus he loves me too...I don't know what I did to deserve that. Lolz. I love you Seany boy...

Lovely!!!!!!!!

Oh gosh so last night I went with Sean to Hy Vee. I'd forgotten how easy it is to be alone with him when we're just hanging out in public...it's so nice...it feels like back before we were dating and stuff. Which, I mean I'm so grateful that we're dating, because I adore the kid, but sometimes I get scared that we aren't as close of friends as we used to be...idk. It's probably just the odd rantings of libby.

But ANYWAYS...I got 'Adventureland' and 'Good Dick' and so far Adventureland was really funny. Not so much into Good Dick...it seems too odd. Everything that the two people in it do is cross all the boundaries of normal social interaction, and not always in the good ways. The only thing that is cute is when the girl wakes up, the guy has tied a string around her ankle and it leads all around her house until its tied a pillow that says 'thank you' because she let him sleep on her couch because he's homeless and lives in his car. Lolz it's really cute actually but she is like a total bitch. Fucking hardcore bitch.

This postcard is up here because...eh I've said it before...I keep making the romantics mistake of trusting boys who are pretty because it's just a mistake I make. And it fucks me up. Whoopee.

Have you Ever Wondered....?

Have you ever stopped to ponder what the people you know would be like if you'd never existed? If you'd never touched their lives, or known their names, or given parts of your heart to them...? What would people be like if I had never existed...?

Well I guess they're the only ones who can tell me that...? You guys! Write something either on a comment here or own your own blogs. What would it be like without me...? And it's ok if you think you'd be fine. Lolz. You'd never know what you missed I guess right..?

I'll write to each one of you about where I think I'd be without you:

Merecedes Ariel Nelson: Oh darling...without you I don't think I would make it through so many things in my life. You NEVER judge me, and I cannot ever express to you how very precious that is to me. You never get upset at me, and if you do you always accept an apology without drama. Your artist's heart never fails to amaze me. You see the world so differently, yet we agree on so much. It's uncanny really. I thank higher powers every day that they delivered to me such a beautiful, gifted, loving girl to me. Because, without you, I really don't think I'd have as much faith in love! :D

Natasha...Bubbles: I know we haven't been friends as long as Me and Merecedes have, but I feel like I've known you for a long time. I often forget you're not really my little sister. You never get mad at me, and you've shown me boundless kindness. Your accepting, loving soul makes me feel so loved and cherished that without you I doubt I would have much self confidence left. You give me someone to take care of, and as weird as that sounds, I love it.

Oh...Ziggy Zig Zig: Thought I'd forget you carrot top? Hella no! LOLZ! Oh Zig I don't think I'd love my job half as much as I do if you weren't there. Before I had Sean in my life you always made me feel like there was at least one guy who thought I was flirtable and didn't always wanna get in my pants. And that meant/means a lot. We dont always agree on politics, but without you I think I would have a limited view of Republicans and it wouldn't be fair. And, we've had some good times that I wouldn't be the same without.

Seany Boy: And you my darling, my love, my light, I saved for very last. Because I just know this one'll make me cry...not because I'm sad, but because I am so grateful. We have our fights, heck who doesnt? But in the end...you healed me beyond what I ever thought I could be again. You kissed my forehead and told me I was beautiful, and for the first time ever, I believed someone when they said it. Because your eyes were filled to the brim with the same love that floods my heart for you. Without you Sean...things for me would have ended a long time ago. Maybe not suicide, but after Addison I was on the brink of dying internally. You saved me. Pulled me back from a sharp pain into your arms where nothing ever hurt. Still doesn't :) I guess what I'm trying to say here darling is that I simply adore you. Without you, I wouldn't believe in love.

Cherish. Love. Expand. LIVE!

You've got a smile that could light up this WHOLE TOWN! I havent seen it much since he brought you down...

Hey girl, you know that title's for you ;)

So....I went to ren fair! :D

It was so much fun! I went with Erin, Annie, Kelsey, Kayla, and gunn! I loved it just like I did last year! I got dehydrated but other then that it was fun...

I missed Sean but then again that's to be expected...gosh I haven't had nearly enough alone time with that kid. I can't wait till i have a car and I can go where i want when I want...then life will be better.

I saw jamison the juggler (note the picture!) I saw his official show twice, but before that I found him and he did a private show for me and our group. Then we split some gelato (chocolate is his favorite lolz) and then we talked to him about making t shirts...I am a juggling groupie! :D And then we saw the Tortuga Twins, who rock hardcore! lolz they're pretty silly. And then the R-rated Johnny Pheonix show...which just ask me about b/c wow...lolz. Oh, and I got an amazing henna tattooo!!!!

AND...yeah I'd say that's just about it for now!!! I love you all!

Ren Fair '09:

3 Juggling Shows

2 Comedy Shows

2 Cheek Kisses

1 Neck Kiss (oh gosh don't even ask...)

2 Pirates that hit on me

Endless good times! :D

Two posts in one night? Could it happen? Well guess what???!?!?! IT HAS! :D

I make them good girls go baaaad! ;)

Ok, so I realized I haven't theorized about love for a while...so here's a little tidbit for you lovebirds out there (if ANY if you are in fact, lovebirds....)

Define it. Love. I don't mean to attack Rich here, I'm just saying this is what made me begin to ponder...

He says a lot in previous blog posts that he loved Zoey, and he would forever (I'm not saying he didn't love Zoey, I'm just thinking out loud here...)

Now he has Shelbi...so where does it go...? Do we recycle it? I think I've written something like this before, but I'm still just wondering...I think maybe we just have our hearts grow a little bit everytime! I think we need to learn love the same we learn to read and write and walk...as we grow we learn...so love? Do we learn it? Does it get stronger each time we fall....? Thoughts?

:D

Sleepover!!

So...I'm sleeping over at Tasha's currently!

Today we were perusing around getting Sean ready for the big move and we figured out that legally if Sean's mom doesnt agree to this he's pretty much fucked. He has to wait out two years more...and I'm just not sure he can do that! Ugh I really think that his mom should just let him go! If she only sees her son as a way to attain financial profits then fuck her straight to hell. Women shouldn't be allowed to have kids when they're that fucked up. Idk...

Oh, Ziggy's girlfriend officially has a new guy. His name is Sebastian. And Ziggy has some really mixed feelings about that. He basically is relieved because now he can play the field without her getting pissed, but he also wanted her to wait. Plus the stupid bitch signed up for four more years at that college even though she said she hated it! Idk why the heck she would do that when she always tells Zig bout how very much she hates it! Well...her parents are also only going to financially support her if she goes to this catholic school! So I feel bad for her...

So, if anyone would like to find Ziggy a single girl, I'm instigating this girlhunt NOW!!! GO FORTH AND SEARCH!

Um...Dog Days is getting better! I think maybe I'll be able to get through this without sucking totally?

AND...I'm in love with Sean Lemke :) Today I spent all day with him, Tasha, and Bridget. And he is pretty much the sweetest boy I've ever met in my life...gosh just looking at him sometimes I'll just look at whoever I'm near (today it was Tasha) and was just like 'wow...he is mine! I'm so excited!' :D I love you darling!

Ginger Snaps

I'm a watching Ginger Snaps...it's a great movie. Even it does depress beyond most people's comprehension...which it does to me. But I sometimes seek sorrow when I'm alone. Don't ask me why, tis an odd habit. One I developed back in the old days...

So Dog Days is going pretty boringly...I hate my character Victoria. I'm not a really good hooker onstage apparently, and I feel so insecure with all the other actresses up there...they're all so good and I don't know if I measure up.

Have you ever realized that things that used to make you happy don't anymore? I mean Sean still does, but he's so sad now and I don't know how to help him. How can you tell a boy that his mother loves him when she won't stop treating him so horribly? My faith in the world is suffering all over the place...fuck my life where did the joy i felt in my last post go? I felt so good when i wrote that...it was really crazy...

Maybe I'm bipolar. It'd be a tragically ironic twist of fate wouldn't it? If I came out with even more emotional problems? Two therepists daughter. Joy to the world, she's lost her mind.

So, Sean will probably be moving out soon to live with Tasha, since his house is fucked. I don't blame him at all. It's just interesting. My boyfriend will be living with my best friend. Think of what people will start to say...it'll be great won't it? Not only does Libby date a guy whos two grades younger, but he's cheating on her with her little sister and she's too stupid to notice.

I know they won't do anything. But that's what everyone will think.