Sophomore year!

Well I've been crazy busy lately...being President of the Women's Coalition means I have stuff to do constantly! It's nice though...because I feel like I'm making a difference. That's important to me. I look around and see a lot of bullshit...and I know I have to do something to fix it.

I'm reading the Harry Potter books for the first time! :D I really love them so far. I think if I was in Hogwarts I would major in Care of Magical Creatures. I am just so in love with dragons! :D They really rock. Favorite character is Snape for sure. He has a lot of depth to him and is the most misunderstood character. I really love it.

I didn't get into Rocky Horror...but life goes on. I'm only sad because a lot of freshman got in and I didn't...but oh well.

Miss you guys :)

Sooooo many vacations!

Oh man you guys. I've been on vacation like crazy this month! I'll tell you guys a little bit about each one cause they all rocked a lot.

I went to Duluth with Melanie and Taylor a couple weeks ago. That was totally wonderful. Vacations with my two best friends since 6th grade are always wonderful but this is the first one we've done without any parents so that was pretty fun. We went to Duluth MN and stopped in Minneapolis on the way up. That was really fun. Then we went to Duluth and hung out on the shoreline for a while. The lighthouse there is also really gorgeous. Then for Melanie's birthday we dressed up and went to a fancy Italian Restaurant. It was really great. I miss Melanie and Taylor a lot so having a whole vacation with them was glorious.

Then came Apple River about a week later! Whooo! Apple River is when the Prairie Repertory Theatre kids drive up to Apple River and tube down the river while drinking. It was so much fun. The river trip was exciting because we had about 27 tubes all attached with twine. The real excitement began when the twine started snapping though. We lost a few people and had to stop our large group until they caught up. It was so great. I lost one of my flip flops to the river pretty much right away...so then I spent the rest of the trip asking the River Gods to return it to me and making sacrifices of beer and water. And I never got my shoe back...but it was lots of fun. Then we all got off the river into the 105 degree weather and set up camp. We were all dripping sweat and it was not the greatest. Austin and I tried to take a nap but we were really just too overheated to do anything but complain. Thank god around midnight the temperature dropped enough that sleeping became possible. Before that though we all sat around the campfire and told ridiculous stories. Jacob Hofer and I told the story of the Medacrane. That's a classic if you've been in Lincoln High School the past 10 years. Then Austin and I slept quite a bit in our tent. We named the tent the "Loveshack" cause it was little and only we could fit in it. The next morning Austin, Jacob, Aarron, Devon and I went to Perkins and feasted on delicious pancakes followed by a full day at the Amusement park in the Mall of America. It was really great to spend so much time with Austin. I liked it better when we were alone in our tent. There was one individual around the campfire who was trying pretty hard to make me feel guilty about being with Austin. And here comes the rant...and I know only this guy will understand it.

You keep comparing yourself to Snape? And I'm Lily Potter? Well guess what? Every woman makes a choice about who she is going to be with. Lily chose James. And I chose Austin. You can hate me for that. And say that I don't care. I do care. I care enough that you can still hurt me. I just don't care enough to dump Austin and date you. So please just get over it. Because you're not going to be able to ever be around me again if you can't deal with your feelings.

Anyways...I'm currently on my third vacation. With my family up in Sugar Lake. That's in Northern Minnesota. And it's totally gorgeous up here. I am feeding a chipmunk that lives on my back porch on the cabin that we're renting. His name is Flicka and he's so cute! :D

I'll write more later darlings.

Jeez it's been a while!

Sorry it's been so long since I've written guys!

Well...lots of stuff has happened. I guess the most important thing being that I have a new fella. His name is Austin, and he's wonderful! :D

I'm going to Apple River with him in a little over a week and that's pretty neat!

This summer is interesting...

The Graduate

I think that 'The Graduate' is one of those movies that you had to be part of the time period to really enjoy. To me the plot seemed to drag itself out a lot longer than it needed to.

Dustin Hoffman is a very good actor, but I'm too used to seeing old Hoffman. Seeing him really young in a movie just threw me off big time. Hoffman's character starts an affair with the neighbor's wife. Then falls in love with her daughter.

I use the word 'love' loosely because he is hooked on her after one date. Which I think is total bullshit. That's a big problem that I have with a lot of movies. If the characters don't take time to build up their affection with each other than I have a hard time believing it. Which was the problem with 'The Graduate' overall. The relationships with the characters were not properly built up.

However the acting was very good, and the plotline itself was creative.

Almost done with the first year!

Well my first year of college is wrapping up...and it's kinda wigging me out. I feel like I'm super old or something? Idk...

Well, let's see here. I watched Psycho last week. Oh man that movie is SPECTACULAR. I really love it. Mostly because it has an ending that nobody sees coming. Some people think it's cheesy, but I think it's beautiful. Plus I have a major crush on Norman Bates...cause I think he's a cutie.

Psycho is also the first movie that showed a toilet flushing on screen AND it got a lot of flack when it first came out because in the shower scene you almost see some boobs. Which of course everyone has to freak out about because nobody is supposed to know what those look like...

I've been done with finals for 3 days now. Been mostly hanging out in my room watching Glee then going out at night and partying with my friends. I love Theater kids. They always make me feel like I might just be special.

Hmmmmmmmm...what else? I won President of the Campus Women's Coalition. That was actually a really big thing for me. I'm actually really worried about being able to run that group sufficiently. And a lot of girls that are older than me and in the club are uber pissed that I won it. So that creates a really tense atmosphere. Which is so not something that I need in my life. But oh well. Fighting for a cause I believe in. Even if that cause means for every step forward I take I feel like I get knocked back 2. But optimism is something I'll need to have. So I'll work on that.

Things with the breakup are sort of getting better. Nobody ever wants me to talk about it...so I'm going to talk about it here for a little while. Yeah, it hurts. It still hurts now, even though it's been a while. I am very prone to bursting into tears if things remind me of Greg, and lately a certain mutual friend of ours can't seem to stop talking about him. But in any case I'm doing my best to keep on moving forward. Gotta say though, really dreading working with him next year. I kinda wish he would have found a different job.

Well...ta-ta for now folks.

Big girl you are beautiful

Ok. I'm just gonna say it. I'm really sick of having to worry about my weight. I'm sick of being scared that boys won't want to look at me because I have a few extra pounds dispersed all over. So here goes the fucking rant.

Dear boys,

You say you want skinny girls. But a very skinny girl has almost no boobs and no hips. Which are the defining qualities of a female body. So...when you want a really skinny chick, you're really saying you want...well a body that doesn't have female characteristics. So...a boy? Yes I have some fat on me. On my stomach and my hips and my arms and in my wonderful delicious motor-boat worthy boobs. Which I'm pretty sure most boys like. So to all those boys AND girls who say that fat is gross and that everyone has to be skinny...

go fuck yourselves

Because I really really really REALLY am sick of this bullshit. Eating disorders are at an all time high in this country because we put so much pressure on young women to be ultra skinny. Girls as young as 1st grade are starting to become anorexic and refuse to go to school because they think they're fat and don't want to have to put up with that.

So, once again,

it's not a joke. it's not a reason to laugh at someone. it's not a reason to dislike or judge someone.

Rant ended.

Oh boy...

The predicaments that I get myself into sometimes are so ridiculous I wish I could tell someone about them. But I can't. Because there is not a soul in this world I trust to not judge me anymore. I guess that should make me sad.

I can't trust anymore. That's what sucks the most. Is that everyone I know would look at me call me a slut or an alcoholic if they really knew what my life is like.

And ironically, if I told them why I'm doing these things, they would probably say 'awww I'm so sorry' or something lame like that.

Consider this my lame depressing blog post.

I miss you Greg. God I really really do. But I can't stop moving forward.